#2
I wasn't feeling the intro, but only because of that 3rd chord. Maybe change that 4th fret, from a G# to a G, it just sounds a little off to me. The next riff that came up was a little weird to me too, mostly because of the 3 halfsteps in bar 14, Im not usually a fan of that sort of stuff, but thats just me. I liked bar 13 though. I think this section lasts too long though, even with the keyboards and stuff. Maybe bring them in sooner, the section drags on a bit. When the keyboards dropped out, and you were still playing that riff, thats where it got really tiring to me, it really oughta be changed, and go into a different section.

The whole song at this point seems based upon this riff, and I dont really like the chromatic-like (?) nature of it, so I guess its just not for me. However, I will say that I really liked the distorted bass that came in. At bar 89, the guitar part would probably sound better if it was let ring. Then it was done.

So overall, it seems like its all only 3 sections, and one of them was really really long. Are you planning on having vocals over top of this? Because I think vocals could help a lot, as an instrumental it gets a little boring. Also, I didnt really like the second section, but thats just me. My advice is that I think you need to restructure it a little bit, maybe fix up that second section, unless you have vocals that will go overtop of it. Its a good start though, and its definitely interesting!

C4C if you want to, https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1434819
#3
Thanks for your detailed answer. With regard to the intro, what do you mean by 'not feeling'? Does it just not work well as an immediate introduction?
And yeah, there is a lot of halfsteppy stuff and chromatic notes, and I know that that is an acquired taste. I guess because I listen to some dissonant music that it appeals to me, but I understand what you are saying.
I guess it wasn't really clear, but this isn't intended as an instrumental, so those extremely long and repetitive sections are designed for some vocals over the top. Thank you very much anyway.