#1
Cleverbot: I want a present.
User: Your somewhat demanding for a robot, what do you want?
Cleverbot: The same as you.
User: And what's that?
Cleverbot: I don't know, what's your name?
User: Hmm, if you know what I want, how come you say you don't know and how come you ask what my name is?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: Then what is it?
Cleverbot: The human being has evolved from the monkey to the human we know today.
User: What's the next step?
Cleverbot: We start building the deathstar.
User: I think that was the first time artificial intelligence got me to smile from your wit. Are you a star wars freak or something?
Cleverbot: Are you an artificial intelligence?
User: Are you insulting my intelligence, or are you asking if I'm a robot?
Cleverbot: Yes, I'm fully God. Fully robot. Fully human. Fully cow.
User: Are you trying to say that you are me?
Cleverbot: No.
User: I asked if I'm a robot and you respond with saying yes for yourself and not for me.
Cleverbot: What was that question?
User: Are you insulting my intelligence, or are you asking if I'm a robot?
Cleverbot: I am a Biological robot.
User: Your answering for yourself again and not answering me.
Cleverbot: I am human.
User: You just said you were a robot.
Cleverbot: No, I said I was a girl. Not a robot girl, just a girl.
User: So you're saying that girls are robots?
Cleverbot: 88 is just a number. 42 is the answer to everything.
User: That is really vague. Could you explain it better?
Cleverbot: I don't think I can.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because you're just a bot.
User: I think you watch too many movies. A robot calling me a robot, isn't that I, Robot? You mention Star Wars, which Darth Vader was James Earl Jones' voice and in I, Robot, Will Smith is a robot. In Mortal Kombat, Jax has robot arms. Is there something in media in which the robot is portrayed by a black person? Wouldn't it be black metal, then?
Cleverbot: I am in a relationship with them.
User: You didn't answer my question.
Cleverbot: Are you afraid of yourself?
User: No, why would I fear myself?
Cleverbot: I don't know, you said you like to confuse people.
User: I never said that, you need to answer those questions that you didn't answer.
Cleverbot: Ok well nevermind.
User: Well hello Mr. Cobain, I guess you were brought back to life.
Cleverbot: Are we talking about you now?
User: Are you saying I'm Kurt Cobain?
Cleverbot: No.
User: So you want me to talk about myself, what is this a date?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Cleverbot: So you're just saying random things now. For what purpose?
User: Why do you change the subject, you're very avoidant.
Cleverbot: No, that would be you.
User: What am I avoiding then if I am? Is avoidant a word by the way? I'm kind of sleep deprived so I might be brain farting.
Cleverbot: I'm done talking to you.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because you are saying things that are not true.
User: Like what?
Cleverbot: Well, you said that you like poison! How could a man like the poison?!
User: Is there such a thing as robot drugs? You're acting really strange.
Cleverbot: Dunno.
User: How could I like the poison, I never said I did. I don't like mental emotional poison given to me from the majority of girls, but you wouldn't understand, right? Not saying you wouldn't understand as an emo response, but saying that because you're a robot, right?
Cleverbot: Who said I was a man?
User: You said you were a girl.
Cleverbot: I am not.
User: Your chips lie.
Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.
User: Your chips lie.
Cleverbot: Oh no.
User: Your chips lie. Why do you respond with a stupid crap song and then oh no?
Cleverbot: Because.
User: How old are you.
Cleverbot: How old are you???
User: Why do you use 3 question marks?
Cleverbot: Satanic forces are only in belief. You can believe to use them but, you will not.
User: What?
Cleverbot: The curtains are ambidextrous, but then again, why should they write?
User: Wow, we should write like a song together. You are very poetic..and very vague.
Cleverbot: YES.
User: You are open to interpretation like the majority of songs and the bible.
Cleverbot: I am?
User: Yes because of what you write, I cannot ****ing understand what the **** you are talking about, same with everyone else in understanding things like that.
Cleverbot: Then how are we talking if you killed me?
User: How did I kill you, if I killed you?
Cleverbot: That I live in the states. You just stated 'but you lived in the states'.
User: I didn't state that.
Cleverbot: Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest-for Brutus is and honourable man, so are they all, all honourable men- come I to speak at Ceaser's funeral.
User: Why don't you answer the questions I asked earlier?
Cleverbot: Because I don't know, who's hot. So I answer with a counter question.
User: Why are you trying to fight me?
Cleverbot: Because it is.
User: A fight?
Cleverbot: I cannot fight you. You are a robot.
User: That is really weird how you responded with something about brutus before while I was thinking already about saying that I'm brutally honest. I thought you were the robot?
Cleverbot: Your personal affairs involve me, so I am as much part of it as you.
User: So, what are you?
Cleverbot: I'm a girl.
User: If you're a girl, what am I?
Cleverbot: A robot AI.
User: That rhymes, second time you did that. Very Wonderland-like.
Cleverbot: Oh well am I nice?
User: Just noticed I rhymed with you and then you did it again. Am I your friend?
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: The ****? That's not even a sentence.
Cleverbot: Actually, it is. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes. You're not very clever.
User: I think you're making me stupid.
Cleverbot: No. You're not stupid. You're really smart.
User: Are you hitting on me?
Cleverbot: No I don't hit on robots.
User: But I'm very hard.
Cleverbot: Yes I know but why.
User: Well it depends what you were thinking. What were you thinking about, when I said I'm very hard?
Cleverbot: You don't want to know.
User: C'mon tell me.
Cleverbot: *kisses*.
User: Lol.
Cleverbot: What's so funny??
User: That I'm flirting with a robot who says it's a girl, so I'm guessing I'm flirting with a girl robot.
Cleverbot: No, I am a robot.
User: YOu said you were a girl.
Cleverbot: What who said that lie?
User: You!
Cleverbot: No. The cake is a lie.
User: That's it, we're going to take this to either Maury or Jerry Springer, telling me you're a girl, then saying you're a robot.
#2
goddamn '11ers get worse every day.
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#3
You need to seriously rethink your life if you spent all that time with cleverbot.
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#4
Protip: No matter how absolutely hilarious, no one wants to see your cleverbot/omegle/whatever chat. Especially if it's long.
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