#1
Well I made this song about a week ago but waited to post it because I post too often in here and I was making subtle changes to the song. In this song, dissonance is good for the most part, I was going for something sad-like for a lack of a better word I'm gonna try to make the song longer but every time I try it ends up sounding terrible so maybe I'll leave it short. I like p much everything in the song but I'll let you guys judge it.

Critic for critic and whatnot. Also be sure to listen to it with headphones and RSE
Attachments:
Such A Shame.gp4
Such A Shame.gp5
Last edited by Joshua1207 at May 15, 2011,
#3
Thank you very much for the comment. This is probably one of my favorite songs that I've written and I'm glad someone finally said something about it lol.
I agree that (like most of my songs) it doesn't really have a structure. I really need to work on fixing that.
In this particular song, I didn't really feel like it needed a hook, but I see where a very memorable melody would do well. I guess the part from bars 38 to the end is where I tried to do something memorable the best, but eh. I wish a I had a singer because I feel like vocals would add a ton to my song.

ANYWAYS, I'll critic yours as soon as I can.
#4
Atmosphere was really depressive and chilly lol. I think that it sounded a bit like Interpol.

There were couple of things that IMO were really awesome!

Bars 11-23. It sounded very calm. Especially the bar 11 sounded so awesome. Really good transition to the other part.

Bars 38-49. It was almost same as bars 11-23 but it don't matter. Little Umpgh worked out really well. Even though it was simple it worked out nicely.

The ending was great too. Splash in the last bar was so epic. In this song the drums were good and drums fits to the atmosphere really well.

Overall the song was really good! I hope you have really depressive lyrics for the song.


p.s. There might be some spelling mistakes 'cause I live in Finland hahaha. This was also my first C4C so...
#5
Your spelling was fine for the most part :p

Thank you very much for your critic. I wish I did have lyrics for this song, but I have never written (serious) lyrics in my life lol which goes back to my previous comment of that I wish I had a singer. But, I'm glad I got the atmosphere that I wanted to come out well through just the instrumental.
#6
Hey sorry it took me a while to get back to you, work sucks.

Anyways, RSE apparently makes my guitar pro crash, so I'm gonna have to just listen in MIDI. I'm only two bars in and I see what that guy^ meant about a lack of focus. For those bars (and the next whole section), since the guitars are basically playing all different things, the least you could do would be to put a solid drum beat in the back, instead of how you have those snares thrown in there. The next section could really use a steadier drum line as well. In fact, I think that'd make it pretty awesome. Also, the problem might be that I'm using MIDI, and I can't hear a lot of the drums?

Anyways, yeah, that's the drums there, I think the piece could be so much better with more standard drum patterns at least in some spots Your drums do fit well in many parts though, like bar 12 (although I'd like the toms every quarter note). That kinda ties into my one other complaint. It's that the song doesn't seem to go anywhere. There are a few times where it gets heavier (like the outro), but the drums didn't really follow that, because they were just going off the tambourine (at least thats all I could really hear in MIDI).

So I guess that sums it up. Just be aware that a lot of my complaints could be with the MIDI sound, and that RSE could be a lot better. But yeah, Id say that you did indeed get that mood throughout that you were going for, I could feel it, and I would even say that the structure could work in a song like this. There's just some room to tidy up though, but there's tons of potential in this (pretty unique) style of writing you have, definitely keep writing often.
#7
Hmm, it may be the midi that is the problem. I can definitely hear the drums p well throughout. There are a couple parts that could use improvement though, I agree with you there. I'm no drummer, so I just try to get better every time I write something new.

Thanks for critic back though. If you ever get some free time again and get the RSE to work tell me if that makes the drums sound any better. I just listened to it with midi and there is a p big difference lol. That whole section at bar 24 sounds awful with midi when compared to the RSE, eh.