#1
Hey guys,

I'm experimenting with song writing and this is the first thing I've put together. It's really quite rough at the moment, I haven't professionally recorded it yet but the sound quality isn't very bad. Its still very choppy (and for now, without drums - but that part comes last)... I'd really appreciate if you could give it a listen and a bit of feedback.

Thanks

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/userlastname/music/all/play999649
#2
The intro's very boring =/
The last note is horribly out of key...
You should always record to a metronome.
The vocals are too low in the mix.
It's all a bit repetitive, you definitely need more parts (=
I like the basics of the song though, it's got potential, just keep practising at writing!
The clean bit was more interesting then the firt few minutes.
#3
I really appreciate the comment

Yes, I was thinking the repetitivity of it would get to people. I'm still not the best at breaking sections of the song smoothly, so a lot of my ideas haven't been able to fit in anywhere yet. However, I did like that clean bit so I slot it in rather shabbily as a sought of break down.

I'll keep working on it.
#4
I didn't find the intro boring

It's a bit rough, just like you said, but I like the potential of this song. And it reminds me of my first demo Don't worry, you'll get better. That just takes some recording experience.

I agree with hawk_kst on that the volume of the vocals is low. And also, the guitars sound out of tune. And a drum is needed But great first work! It is not bad on songwriting level, but variation is always good.
#5
I think the reason the vocals are so low is because of my singing "ability" :/

Anyway, I once again appreciate the response. I guess I should start giving other people some critique now - if either of you guys have something I'll definitely take a look.
#6
Yeah I pretty much agree with all that's been said.
Keep it up though, you'll get better
#7
Quote by userlastname
I think the reason the vocals are so low is because of my singing "ability" :/

Anyway, I once again appreciate the response. I guess I should start giving other people some critique now - if either of you guys have something I'll definitely take a look.


Nah man, volume doesn't have much to do with skill in the studio, just bump up the mic!
Sure, if you said the same about a gig then fair play but you can always solve problems like that when recording (=

And sure bud, just click the link in my sig and feel free to leave some feedback (=
#8
Personally, i kinda liked the whole thing, The only things I didn't like was that the vocals were a bit too quiet and the tone of the electric guitar playing the power chords. Although I think that may be down to personal taste.
#10
i'm going to be honest and try to be helpful as well. the song is way to long and has little to no flow to it. you have some decent basic ideas but they need to be edited down for better flow. the guitar tone is very grating which makes the piece hard to listen to. while harsh tones can work in some genres your tune doesn't seem to fall into one of them. your vocals are to low so the lyrics are almost inaudible. i'd suggest on working on the music first and then move on to vocal tunes. you have some awkward pauses in a couple of parts which totally detracts from the song i thought it was over more than once. practice playing it until you can get through it without having to think about it. if you get better recording conditions then you can do the song in parts but it will sound like it flows together. as already mentioned it needs some added spark with a couple of different parts or variations on what you have to keep it interesting. at 5 1/2 minutes you really need to do this. keep at it and remeber that no one writes the next "Stairway To Heaven" etc on their first try. points for having the balls to at least try and do an original as that is really tough.

my latest is The Land Unknown found in my profile