#1
So here's my story:

I started playing guitar roughly 8 years ago with much enthusiasm. However, I never took the time to learn songs thinking that doing so would result in my subconscious memorization of melodies, progressions, rhythmic patterns, etc. and that I'd be more original to avoid this, what I though was a, pitfall. So I did technique stuff. However, after about 3 years of little improvement (adhd and repetitive metronome exercises do not mix well) , I became increasingly frustrated, became very critical of my playing, and began to hate the guitar. Around this time I also began listening more to jazz (I had been listening mostly to metal and had that typical metal-head arrogance) and then became frustrated with the guitar as an instrument; for me, it was hard to see it as a serious musical instrument, rather than something 93% of college males claim to do; especially since it seemed like other musicians (saxophonists, trumpeters, pianists, etc) had it much harder. By this point roughly two years ago, I reached a point where I hated the sound of the instrument(effects pedals did little to mitigate this unfortunate condition) . And seeing that i knew no songs and knew very little technique, I had a very hard time calling myself a guitarist. So I began looking into songwriting. This didn't go well either. It may seem that I struggled because of an inability to understand the structure and flow of music in general(as many people do), this was not the case. Rather, I had seemingly always had a great understanding of melody, harmony, and rhythm such that i felt, and still feel like everything I play/played has been done (again being, perhaps, overly self-critical).

And here I am: A "guitarist" 8 years latter, with little skill, little knowledge, little songwriting ability, no repertoire, and a bad ear (I can whistle anything I hear, but cant locate notes I hear on the guitar to save my life--the notes all sound equally wrong and I forget the note i'm trying to find as soon as I play a note)

And yet i cant give it up. While the sound of me playing is excruciating (mostly because Ive been playing the same stilted patterns, riffs, and the ever disdained blues scale) I still hear guitarists and love every bit of it. I would like so strongly to keep playing but every time I pick up the guitar, the more I hate it, and frankly, hate myself.

I guess what I'm looking for is some piece of advice, saying, proverb, or whatever--anything to be able to enjoy one of the most unique instruments ever invented.

I know this was long. If you're reading this, thank you so much for your time.

-Ian M.F.
#2
You haven't considered switching to one of those instruments if they interest you?

Whenever I start to feel negative about playing or writing I'll start to do something in a different genre or experiment with new effects, things like that.

The point you're at now, it sounds like all you need to do is establish a solid base in your playing to work off. Learn some songs in full, read some interval lessons, stuff like that.
Metal Head

One Day, We'll All Go Into The Water.
Go, Into The Water, Live There, Die There.

Gear
Squier Stratocaster
Jackson Pro Series Kelly
Jackson Dinky Sustaniac
Roland Cube 60
Peavey Triple XXX Stack
#3
@Ryan Nias

Thanks for the response man.

I guess a question I have is...is there any way to keep interest in a piece I'm trying to learn? Ive found that on the few occasions I tried to learn something in the past, as soon as I figure out how its played (and by this I mean that I dont know the exact notes, but I might know, say, that theres a hammer-on then pull-off then descending slide <==random example) I lose interest and have no desire to learn the rest of the song. Any ideas?
#4
I'd just start by taking a tab on the site and learning it until you can play the entire song in it's entirety in one sitting. Until you push yourself over this hurdle, you're going to have trouble, you need to teach yourself the ability to commit to material.

It doesn't have to be a long or hard song, just one you particularly like.

As for the memorisation of other melodies you were worried about, that happens, I've written riffs from other bands heaps of times, but it's mostly been ones that I have heard, not ones that I knew how to play. If I knew how to play them when I did, I'd go "No, that's X."

Just stick to it as hard as you can until you can get through one song flawlessly and then worry about moving on to other stuff.

For writing, write a song every day. Doesn't matter what it is, but if you practise writing enough you'll begin to develop a sense for it.

Just keep telling yourself that whilst you might know the guitarist is doing hammer and pull offs here, you don't know the notes and most importantly, you don't know *why* he's playing hammer and pulls. Get in to the mindset of the guitarist, play the song in it's entirety as one piece, it's how it was meant to be. A song isn't a collection of riffs, it's a continuous experience. Once you understand why the song works the way it does, you'll begin to be able to see that in everything you play.
Metal Head

One Day, We'll All Go Into The Water.
Go, Into The Water, Live There, Die There.

Gear
Squier Stratocaster
Jackson Pro Series Kelly
Jackson Dinky Sustaniac
Roland Cube 60
Peavey Triple XXX Stack
#5
Welcome to the forum. This is really not the right area to post something like this.

Songwriting and Lyrics has a sub-forum where you can talk about techinques regarding the lyrical content of a song, or just to learn how to write poetry. And then there is Musician Talk where you can discuss actual musical theory and whatnot.

The area you posted in is specifically for original written work. Because this is quite a substantial story in itself, I'm going to leave it open. But remember for next time to read the rules of each forum before posting and not just the title of the forum.

Thanks!