I would have given my life
If only to save yours
And never shed a tear

Now I’d only take my life
If it meant ruining yours
But you probably wouldn’t care
Simple and succinct, and it has good flow. That said, it is a bit melodramatic for my taste. I believe that "tear" and "care" are supposed to be a rhyme, but it is a bit forced, in my opinion. Perhaps think about revising that. It reads, "But you probably wouldn't care" which in my mind sounds a bit juvenile. Also, this piece leaves a lot to the imagination, which may be your intent, but it might be worth exploring what caused you to feel this way. Just a thought. Overall, I think what you have is a strong idea with good flow. Now, if I were you, I would revisit this piece and build off of what you have, all while trying to preserve the flow you created here. I think of poetry as math problems. If we look at 2+2=?, none of us are impressed, we all know the answer, and we have all seen the problem and solution before. But there are also long, complex, algebraic math problems. But to solve such a problem, you need to be given at least some of the variables. Then at the end, if we are still able to solve the equation, we see the true genius of the equation and how the author came to his conclusion (or at least what we believe the conclusion to be). This piece is like the first math problem. It is perfectly fine to spell out your idea for us (your poems don't need to be cryptic), but if you can do it in a unique and creative way, then people will really take notice, and that is where the challenge is; trying to find the balance between strait forwardness and creatively conveying your ideas. Perhaps I am bad at analogies, but I think I made my point. If you revisit this piece or expand upon it, I would love to read it. I have a piece I desperately need help with, if you wouldn't mind:

"If you don't live by the praises of men you won't die by their criticisms." -Bill Johnson
Verbosity is your enemy.