#1
Hey guys , this is my first attempt at writing a song and even recording anything. Please tell me any and all of your criticisms, and well if you like the song or not =D Thanks and advance and as always C4C!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tdnLOT2hMnI

oh and by the way you'll need to put the volume up higher because it was recorded on my phone, and yes I know the quality isnt that good.
2/17/08 Kosova's independence!!!
#4
I actually think that its better without drums. im typing as i listen so i havent heard the whole thing yet, but i think the drums would take away from the calmness it has brought on by the rain track. for me the rain as serving as the percussion and i love it. it gives it a really relaxing, natural feeling. the transition when the distortion guitar comes in and the tone isnt too good. the low guitar is kind of drowning out the lead part. now im kind of seeing the intro as the calm before the storm and this is the storm of it? if you were going to add drums i think it would be good to kick them in right in the transition to the distorted guitar. i see the storms now come full circle back to the soft part. i really like the main chord progression in the clean portions. as ive said its relaxing and i feel like its guiding me through the song. i think the riffs in the distorted section were a little bland in comparison to the rest of it and right now kind of take away from the whole vibe. i really like the idea of the progression from soft to heavy to soft like a storm if thats what you were going for but i also think this could easily stand alone without the middle section. with better recording equipment and whatnot you could tighten up the distortion part and make this really cool. not that it isnt already awesome to begin with. it actually reminds me a lot of the first song i ever recording (Lost Voyage on my youtube channel which youll be able to find from my c4c link) if you want to check it out.

would youd kindly c4c this song i wrote yesterday though?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1445514
#5
Wow thanks a lot guys, I haven't been here for a while so I just looked at the comments. I'm c4cing right now!
2/17/08 Kosova's independence!!!
#6
Hey man!

First time writing and recording? Awesome job, I used my phone to make videos of cover songs a while ago too. All things considered, the quality turned out pretty good. You ought to get a mic so you can do some proper recording.

You might want to try switching up your chords or rhythm melody every once in a while - since it's just your guitar, there's nothing else to break the monotony. But everything was clean and all, that's one of my favorite past times is looping some chords and just playing with them.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks for your comment on my song too
#7
hey dude thanks for the crit on mine. i feel like your song was really wasted. almost as if there was so much opportunity for you to do this and that with that progression you had going on, but you kinda just ignored and left it to dry while you continued to make a song that didn't have all that much substance to it. for example, from the start all the way to 3:21 - there was so much room for some more solo phrases but you kinda just missed out on a lot of them. then the heavy section was not very heavy at all, it actually sounded like it was skipping and prancing around to me. the chord progression didnt really stick in my head either. either way, if this is your first recording good job and keep working at it
#9
Hey man!

You asked me to C4C this, I'd like to point out that I already listened to it and commented on a couple points above! I believe I subscribed to your youtube matter of fact.

Anyways, keep up the good work and thank you for checking out my music as well
#10
This sounds pretty cool! It definitely has that vibe that you described, I like it.

It does sound a bit repetitive, but maybe cause I was staring at the video while listening. I just thought the intro was a bit too long at three minutes. I thought that the song would've been a lot better with drums at the part where you come in with the distortion. My favourite part though was the part around five minutes to the end of the song when you go back to the clean ound, some very cool riffs/licks you have there. I would suggest a better transition though between the distorted part and the clean part (or were they meant to be seperated?)

Overall it was good, of course being only a cell phone recording the audio quality wasn't that great, but song/composition wise its great!
#11
Haha wow sorry cm, must of over looked that, thanks anyway!
And zinc, I was fighting with that myself honestly, sometimes it seems fine, other times like its a bit dragged out, I may try and condence it and see how it comes out.
2/17/08 Kosova's independence!!!
#12
Thanks for the crit on my song

- I have to say, it is pretty decent quality for a phone recording.
- I felt it was very video game-esque; I could hear it being used in a video game.
- It was very repetitive, but considering it was purely guitar and lacking other instruments that can be forgiven Although, I do think modulating to another key at some point would sound pretty awesome.
- The distorted section would definitely sound better with more instruments.
- I really liked the arpeggiated section after the distorted section. I think some parts of the arpeggiated section could be used earlier in the song in order to create less repetition (if that even makes sense )

Make sure you re-record this when you get some recording gear. I'd be interested to hear it
#13
song is sweet sounding man, good job, i think with another guitarist adding some lead fills over it, it would sound sweet, peace and love brother
Gonna make the mountains be my home....

"A box of rain will ease the pain and love will see you through"-Robert Hunter