#1
Hey! So, I wrote a simple acoustic song consisting, thus far, of an acoustic guitar, a bass guitar, and a piano (Vocals may be added later). I'd like to know your opinion on the bass and the piano (moreso the latter of the two as I know little to nothing about the piano). Anyway, any advice/comments would be appreciated.

Just a quick back story: The song is called "A Letter to Heaven" and I wrote it for my mother, who was recently killed in a car accident.

It's meant to be on the border of sad and hopeful.

Either way, hope you enjoy.

LINK: Original Acoustic Song ("A Letter to Heaven")
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
#2
First of all, I'm sorry about your Mom. Second I can tell you put a lot of emotion into it. I wouldn't mind hearing it not in MIDI though. What I really think brought this song together was the piano, the thing that I liked was the piano always accented the 3rd and 4th beats nicely. Just something I noticed, and thought it fit in very nicely with the song. I don't know if its just my crappy speakers, but I honestly didn't even notice the bass, otherwise I'd give you a crit on that. What the song needs is either vocals, or an instrument to take lead and provide some melody, nothing too complicated though, but once you get that I think you'll have the song you're looking for. Overall its a nice simple song that could use a melody, and the instruments work well together.

Edit.. Just another note, I saw your last comment about being on the border of sad and hopeful, and I think the way you handled the chord progression capture it well!

c4c? --> https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1445820
Last edited by skaguitarist182 at May 30, 2011,
#3
Thanks, man.

I had planned on adding vocals to it (You know, something at a slowish, medium tempo). As for the piano, I'm glad you liked it. I honestly barely play the instrument, so I was working on nothing there. The bass came in just before the first chorus. It was only playing the root note of the chord as 8th notes. The only real, semi-noticable part would have been during that really quiet bridge. Otherwise, I just used it to keep rhythm.

Sorry about the MIDI, but I don't have the resources to record multiple instruments. I am, however, working on it.

All in all, thanks a ton for the feedback!
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
#5
Thanks, man! Appreciate the feedback.
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
#6
So sorry to hear about your mother. Grief produces some of the best art, use your grief and honor your mother's memory.

You definitely got your sad/hopeful feel. I'm in a similar place and I felt it.

For your recording, I would try to draw out the piano and play with some EQ. I can hardly hear anything over the guitar on my laptop speakers. My stereo receiver is in the shop

I really think this would benefit from some airy, tenor vocals not that it doesn't stand well on it's own. I'll agree with a previous poster that it does need a melody, be that the suggested vocal or simply a lead guitar line.

Very heartfelt, very well done. Keep em coming.
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#7
Hey dude, thanks for your crit, and I'm sorry about your mom.

I really like the emotional side of this song. One can really tell that you put alot of emotions into it, and with the right kind of vocal melody and singing this could be a really beautiful song. Even with just the midisounds it sounds really nice but could use some mixing as suggested above. I think if you'd maybe put the guitar and the piano on seperate areas EQ-ing wise, both instruments could benefit from it. The bass is hardly noticeable, but I'm not sure if he is even needed here, the acoustic and the piano could give more than enough background for a singer.

Songwriting wise it is a really good piece, 9/10

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#8
Acoustic sounded really good. I liked the piano, not too much, just enough to compliment the guitar. I like the break in the middle around 2 minutes. When you add vocals, this will be something. I would suggest maybe adding a little percussion, not too much, but that's just me as a drummer.

My band has some songs kind of like this, edging more towards rock though, if you want to check them out at, https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1448405, Panic mode and Not a Clue.