#1
hey guys!

I wrote a song today, called "I know" and I have a question: could someone maybe help me and say, what and how I could write better? If some one has an idea for this lyrics please note, that there should not more or less syllables.

Here are the lyrics:

[Verse 1]
You know there are things to tell.
I could tell you everything if you want.
But I can't find the words to say.

[Verse 2]
I see that I can't say it girl.
I can feel it everyday in my life.
And I hope that you relieve me if you can.

[Pre-Chorus]
I dont know what I could do.
But I don't want to give it up this time.
You are smiling and just laughing.
Cause you don't see that I love you.

[Verse 3]
If I have much time to think.
Then I'm think-ing about my love.
And how I could tell it you.

[Verse 4]
I'm not just a boy who's loving you.
I don't know what I can do.
So I just say that I love you.

[Pre-Chorus]
What are you thinking now?
Do you want to give me a small chance.
I will beg for your love.
Your love is the greatest thing.

[Chorus]
Cause when I see your face,
your beautiful eyes,
I just know,
cause when I see your hair, your mouth,
your lovingly smile,
then I know that I love you.

---Solo---

[Pre-Chorus]
Don't you want to answer me?
I can give you everything you want.
I am so frustrated.
Cause I don't know what you'll say to me.

[Chorus]
But when I see your face,
your beautiful eyes,
yeah I know,
cause when I see your hair, your mouth,
your lovingly smile,
then I know,
If you don't want to love me please say it.
I won't get on then.
but I know,
that when you look to me that I
can see in your eyes
then I know that I love you.
#2
umm.. it does need work, most of it seems like u hav thrown a couple lines just like that. try rhyming it a bit i guess. just keep on writing more pieces n u'll hav a natural "rythme" flowing in it without tryin to, thats just how everybody improves
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.