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#1
Body language is fascinating. It's such a powerful tool and it can help you understand so much about people. I read up on it several months ago and more recently have been paying attention to it on a daily basis. But I've come to realize that a lot of what people say about body language isn't true. For example, I've always heard that someone crossing their arms means they're closed off. But most people just do it because it's comfortable. I've also heard a lot of stupid sounding shit about the body language of sexual attraction, such as men will face their pelvis toward whatever is the most meaningful thing to them in the room and women will stroke random objects, handjob style. Wtf, seriously, nobody does that.

I find the eyes most interesting. I always like to see how people hold eye contact with me because I can tell if they're confident, whether they're comfortable around me, uninterested, etc.

Anyway. What are your opinions on body language? What's yours like? Are you good at reading other people's? There's a lot to discuss in this topic, so I just made an all-encompassing thread for it.

Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#3
Quote by fail
But I've come to realize that a lot of what people say about body language isn't true. For example, I've always heard that someone crossing their arms means they're closed off. But most people just do it because it's comfortable.

Or are they comfortable because they're showing a closed off stance?
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#5
I love body language. So interesting.

Crossed arms can mean a sign of insecurity.

Itching or touching your nose can indicate that you're lying.

Looking down and to the right can mean you're hiding something.

Looking down and to the left can mean you're embarrassed, but truthful

Fidgeting, is obviously a sign of insecurity, or just plain boredom.

Your pupils dilate when you look at something you're attracted to. In the cartoons, remember the character's eyes popping out of their head when they see an attractive character? Yeah, that's an over exaggeration.

If someone's attracted to you, they will lean towards you, legs pointing towards you.

They might brush lint off their clothing that isn't really there. Might play with their hair.

Crossing legs (girls mainly) can be a sign of being not very confident with anything sexual. Or they might just want to cuz they're wearing a skirt.

Just some things I find interesting.

They aren't all 100%. It varies in different situations and people. But these are general examples, like most body language.
#6
I like your threads.

I've been thinking a lot about body language recently. There are so many bullshit 'how to tell if he/she likes you' articles out there that say 'If she has her hip angled towards you, she likes you' or 'if he keeps looking at you, he likes you' or any other generalizing bullshit.

I do, however, think there is a definite correlation between how comfortable/open/agreeable you are with somebody, and whether you are crossing your arms or leaning forward.

There's a lot of things you can do consciously that the receiver picks up on somewhat unconsciously that actually changes the way they are looking at you/engaging with you. For example, if you want to project you are interested in something, simply nod in quick bursts of two or three, or lean forwards etc.

I think everybody is somewhat capable of reading body language, be it consciously or subconsciously, when they just have what some people might call a 'gut feeling' that they weren't really paying attention, or were very interested, or thought you did well in an interview, when they're obviously responding to their body language. But once you read up on it once, it instantly makes sense to you (apart from some of the eye movements, the 'looking slightly up and to the right/left' thing about detecting lying is really outstandingly accurate) because we've all been following along because they're so common.

EDIT: I also agree with what Kensai said. It's obvious people don't just choose to adjust how comfortable they are based on sudden random realization, rather than the (somewhat) need to project a feeling.
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
Last edited by laid-to-waste at May 30, 2011,
#7
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
I love body language. So interesting.

Crossed arms can mean a sign of insecurity.
Bullshit

Itching or touching your nose can indicate that you're lying.
Bullshit

Looking down and to the right can mean you're hiding something.
Bullshit

Looking down and to the left can mean you're embarrassed, but truthful
Bullshit

Fidgeting, is obviously a sign of insecurity, or just plain boredom.
Because it's so broad--Bullshit

Your pupils dilate when you look at something you're attracted to. In the cartoons, remember the character's eyes popping out of their head when they see an attractive character? Yeah, that's an over exaggeration.
That one's actually true.

If someone's attracted to you, they will lean towards you, legs pointing towards you.
Bullshit

They might brush lint off their clothing that isn't really there. Might play with their hair.
see: fidgeting

Crossing legs (girls mainly) can be a sign of being not very confident with anything sexual. Or they might just want to cuz they're wearing a skirt.
Bullshit

Where'd you learn all this, Lie to Me?

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#8
Quote by laid-to-waste
I like your threads.

I've been thinking a lot about body language recently. There are so many bullshit 'how to tell if he/she likes you' articles out there that say 'If she has her hip angled towards you, she likes you' or 'if he keeps looking at you, he likes you' or any other generalizing bullshit.

I do, however, think there is a definite correlation between how comfortable/open/agreeable you are with somebody, and whether you are crossing your arms or leaning forward.

There's a lot of things you can do consciously that the receiver picks up on somewhat unconsciously that actually changes the way they are looking at you/engaging with you. For example, if you want to project you are interested in something, simply nod in quick bursts of two or three, or lean forwards etc.

I think everybody is somewhat capable of reading body language, be it consciously or subconsciously, when they just have what some people might call a 'gut feeling' that they weren't really paying attention, or were very interested, or thought you did well in an interview, when they're obviously responding to their body language. But once you read up on it once, it instantly makes sense to you (apart from some of the eye movements, the 'looking slightly up and to the right/left' thing about detecting lying is really outstandingly accurate) because we've all been following along because they're so common.


The thing is, body language is never a dead cert. It's gotta be taken with a pinch of salt. For example, assuming a girl likes you because she's angled towards you is stupid. However, assuming a girl likes you because she's angled towards you, always adjusting her clothing, laughing when it's not necessary, insisting on touching you (like tapping your arm to get your attention), then it's okay to assume she might be into you. Only if a number of things occur together, that's when body language is more reliable. One thing on it's own isn't very useful at all.

Quote by SteveHouse
Bullshit


Where'd you learn all this, Lie to Me?

Not at all.

Just one of those doesn't mean for certain that what I've said is what the person is feeling. That's insane. But when loads of them are grouped together, that's when they're more reliable. I said "(action) CAN or COULD mean (feeling/ thoughts)

You know, you can disagree without being a dick about it?
Last edited by WholeLottaIzzy at May 30, 2011,
#9
Quote by SteveHouse
Bullshit
Bullshit
Bullshit
Bullshit
Because it's so broad--Bullshit
That one's actually true.
Bullshit
see: fidgeting
Bullshit
Where'd you learn all this, Lie to Me?



Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
The thing is, body language is never a dead cert. It's gotta be taken with a pinch of salt. For example, assuming a girl likes you because she's angled towards you is stupid. However, assuming a girl likes you because she's angled towards you, always adjusting her clothing, laughing when it's not necessary, insisting on touching you (like tapping your arm to get your attention), then it's okay to assume she might be into you. Only if a number of things occur together, that's when body language is more reliable. One thing on it's own isn't very useful at all.


...Somewhat agreed. Although not all the things on your list are body language, and imo the angled towards you thing is very iffy. A lot of girls angle away from you if they like you, too.
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
Last edited by laid-to-waste at May 30, 2011,
#10
Quote by SteveHouse
Bullshit

Bullshit

Bullshit

Bullshit

Because it's so broad--Bullshit

That one's actually true.

Bullshit

see: fidgeting

Bullshit

Where'd you learn all this, Lie to Me?



****ing LOL

I don't know why, but seeing a string of those and a voice in my head saying it made me laugh out loud
Isn't it a pity?
Now, isn't it a shame?
How we break each other's hearts,
And cause each other pain...


"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon
#12
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
However, assuming a girl likes you because she's angled towards you, always adjusting her clothing, laughing when it's not necessary, insisting on touching you (like tapping your arm to get your attention), then it's okay to assume she might be into you. Only if a number of things occur together, that's when body language is more reliable. One thing on it's own isn't very useful at all.

You could assume:
-She's into you
-She's outgoing
-She's really anxious about being in a social situation
-She's drunk
-She's a physical-contact kind of person, you know, the kind who kisses friends

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#13
Quote by laid-to-waste

the eye movements, the 'looking slightly up and to the right/left' thing about detecting lying is really outstandingly accurate


I've always found this to be completely backwards. In my experience, looking to a direction (any direction) occurs when someone is trying to recall something. Think about when you've had to give a presentation. You're going along and you forget the next sentence, where are your eyes? On the ceiling. It's just something we do when we're trying to remember something.

On the other hand, I find people make overly strong eye contact when they're lying. Almost as if they're watching you to see if you believe the lie. Though it could also be due to the societal idea that having strong eye contact means you're being truthful, so they're trying to simulate that.
#14
i agree with WholeLotaIzzy...I think body language says alot about you...however i hate it when i do ONE thing like laugh at a joke or play with my hair....and people think its automatically flirty. like stop looking into things so much its just a simple jesture lol. I'm just saying if you follow what these books say about body language to a tee...you might get yourself introuble haha
#15
Quote by Metalkid94
i agree with WholeLotaIzzy...I think body language says alot about you...however i hate it when i do ONE thing like laugh at a joke or play with my hair....and people think its automatically flirty. like stop looking into things so much its just a simple jesture lol. I'm just saying if you follow what these books say about body language to a tee...you might get yourself introuble haha

"I like using it but I don't like when people use it on me"

The disconnect is strong with this one.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#16
Quote by saint22
I've always found this to be completely backwards. In my experience, looking to a direction (any direction) occurs when someone is trying to recall something. Think about when you've had to give a presentation. You're going along and you forget the next sentence, where are your eyes? On the ceiling. It's just something we do when we're trying to remember something.

On the other hand, I find people make overly strong eye contact when they're lying. Almost as if they're watching you to see if you believe the lie. Though it could also be due to the societal idea that having strong eye contact means you're being truthful, so they're trying to simulate that.


How does that former paragraph rule out what I said?

Lying is both very hard to detect and extremely easy. You have to look at their hands, eyes, perspiration, posture, tone of voice, general usage of words and if you know the person enough, you have to look at abnormalities in the way they talk as opposed to normal.

Some people, though, have thought through the process, and even though they're telling you the truth, they understand you may interpret it as a lie, so they panic to make it a convincible truth, kinda like why you act very strange if a police officer asks you if you've done something, even though you haven't, you seem to act guilty as an attempt to look convincing.
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
#17
Quote by laid-to-waste
How does that former paragraph rule out what I said?

Lying is both very hard to detect and extremely easy. You have to look at their hands, eyes, perspiration, posture, tone of voice, general usage of words and if you know the person enough, you have to look at abnormalities in the way they talk as opposed to normal.

Some people, though, have thought through the process, and even though they're telling you the truth, they understand you may interpret it as a lie, so they panic to make it a convincible truth, kinda like why you act very strange if a police officer asks you if you've done something, even though you haven't, you seem to act guilty as an attempt to look convincing.

Except.the.scientific.research.consistently.has.found.this.idea.to.be.100.%.bullshit.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#18
Quote by laid-to-waste
How does that former paragraph rule out what I said?

Lying is both very hard to detect and extremely easy. You have to look at their hands, eyes, perspiration, posture, tone of voice, general usage of words and if you know the person enough, you have to look at abnormalities in the way they talk as opposed to normal.

Some people, though, have thought through the process, and even though they're telling you the truth, they understand you may interpret it as a lie, so they panic to make it a convincible truth, kinda like why you act very strange if a police officer asks you if you've done something, even though you haven't, you seem to act guilty as an attempt to look convincing.



How do either of these paragraphs have any relevance to what I said? I agree with them mostly, I'm just confused.

You said, people look to the left or right when they lie. I said, people look to the left or right when they're trying to remember something. Barring mental abnormalities, it's hard to remember something that never happened, aka a lie.
#19
You can't generalise body language because everybody has their own way of showing things.

I have not put nearly enough detail into this post, but this is about as much as I can be arsed to say at the moment.
I shall grant you three wishes.

None of which will work.


Does the above post enrage, offend or confuse you?

Good.


I like my women how I like my guitars. Curvy and like it when I finger them.
#20
This is me reading the posts after mine, what does this stance tell you?

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#21
Quote by Kensai

Or are they comfortable because they're showing a closed off stance?


Fair point. For me I just need somewhere to keep my arms so it's comfortable.

What about these, SteveHouse?

-A quick flash of the eyebrows indicates interest.

-Standing with hands on hips and legs spread is a display of dominance and aggression

-Touching the nose means they're lying

-Staring at someone and smiling means you're thinking dirty thoughts about them

-Mirroring body language = attraction

-Ear tugging = indecision or deception

-Women point their feet at a man they're interested in
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#22
Quote by Kensai
This is me reading the posts after mine, what does this stance tell you?


He's denying that he stole my wallet, obviously.
#23
Quote by saint22
How do either of these paragraphs have any relevance to what I said? I agree with them mostly, I'm just confused.

You said, people look to the left or right when they lie. I said, people look to the left or right when they're trying to remember something. Barring mental abnormalities, it's hard to remember something that never happened, aka a lie.


I should've elaborated more, I guess.

What I meant by that is people look slightly up and to the right when they're trying to construct a picture, and people look slightly up and to the left when they're recalling an existing memory. It's not very consistant though.


Quote by SteveHouse
Except.the.scientific.research.consistently.has.found.this.idea.to.be.100.%.bullshit.


linky?
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
Last edited by laid-to-waste at May 30, 2011,
#24
I don't get the first post about all this body language then a picture of..is that pornstar Jenna Jameson?

Anyway I get the hair playing and dilated pupils a lot from girls.

Staring at someone and smiling means you're thinking dirty thoughts about them <- that is the most rediculous thing I ever read
#25
Quote by fail
Fair point. For me I just need somewhere to keep my arms so it's comfortable.

What about these, SteveHouse?


-A quick flash of the eyebrows indicates interest.
Or surprise, or allergies.

-Standing with hands on hips and legs spread is a display of dominance and aggression
Or a sore back.

-Touching the nose means they're lying
Or have allergies or a cold.

-Staring at someone and smiling means you're thinking dirty thoughts about them





-Mirroring body language = attraction
We do that with everyone. It's got more to do with getting comfortable than anything else.

-Ear tugging = indecision or deception
People tug on their ears? I'd guess that meant they lost an earring.

-Women point their feet at a man they're interested in
I would assume this is because they're facing them to interact Kind of a much bigger clue there broseph.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#26
Quote by laid-to-waste
I should've elaborated more, I guess.

What I meant by that is people look slightly up and to the right when they're trying to construct a picture, and people look slightly up and to the left when they're recalling an existing memory. It's not very consistant though.


linky?



I have no link to disprove that and I'm not going to waste my time looking for one, but do you really believe that correlation has an R^2 greater than even .1? That seems wildly unlikely to me. Why would one brain pathway have one physiological side effect and another have a second, but different side effect? And how convenient that it's the lying pathway that causes a different body motion. I'm trying to be rude, but the idea seems extremely far-fetched.
#27
Quote by NoSpoonDimensio
Anyway I get the hair playing and dilated pupils a lot from girls.


The hair playing has been called bullshit a lot before though by my friends unless they were jealous...and for the dilated pupils, well I had one or two instances where the girl had dilated pupils but then in direct sunlight they didn't, so all of this is confusing as hell.
#28
Quote by laid-to-waste

linky?

Difficult because it's tied up in scientific publications, which you can't really just access without going through a university library (or paying for it). You're free to use Google Scholar if you like, but expect frustration because you really don't care about lie detection via fMRI. I can tell you that Ekman's research into emotion is fine, but his application of that into microexpressions and lie detection (ala Lie to Me) doesn't cut the cheese. He and a colleague (2004) tested some 20,000 people about their lie detection ability, and found 29 "Truth Wizards," that's pretty much the most famous study in favor of what he advocates. And an article that I CAN'T FUKKEN OPEN WTF GOOGLE SCHOLAR calls that into question, saying those results are indistinguishable from chance--four years have passed and that attack still stands.

I do get this though
Five decades of lie detection research have shown that people’s ability to detect deception by observing behavior and listening to speech is limited. The problem is that cues to deception are typically faint and unreliable.

From this abstract, which goes on to mention what specific lie-detecting interviewers might do (read: not everyday people) to do better.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

Last edited by SteveHouse at May 30, 2011,
#29
Quote by SteveHouse


-Staring at someone and smiling means you're thinking dirty thoughts about them









I don't know about the hair playing thing. Why would that indicate attraction? Maybe if you were smoothing it down or fixing it somehow to look better for someone, yeah. But playing with it? I do that out of habit whether I'm interested in someone or not.
Quote by Ian_the_fox
You're not girly enough of a boy for me, and you're not man enough to take the top. So like, sorry bitch but you ain't mine! Sorry.
#30
Quote by NoSpoonDimensio
The hair playing has been called bullshit a lot before though by my friends unless they were jealous...and for the dilated pupils, well I had one or two instances where the girl had dilated pupils but then in direct sunlight they didn't, so all of this is confusing as hell.

You've got to take lighting into account with the pupils obviously. Ever wonder why candle lit dinners are romantic? Low light forces the pupils to dilate which sends a similar message to the brain to what you get when you see a girl you attracted to.
#31
Quote by WholeLottaIzzy
You've got to take lighting into account with the pupils obviously. Ever wonder why candle lit dinners are romantic? Low light forces the pupils to dilate which sends a similar message to the brain to what you get when you see a girl you attracted to.

Also the softer light means blemishes etc are less visible

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#33
Quote by SteveHouse
Also the softer light means blemishes etc are less visible

So, if you're gunna screw an ugly/ fat chick. Do it in low light. I can't guarantee it'll turn Susan Boyle in Megan Fox but it's worth a shot.
#35
Quote by fail


I don't know about the hair playing thing. Why would that indicate attraction? Maybe if you were smoothing it down or fixing it somehow to look better for someone, yeah. But playing with it? I do that out of habit whether I'm interested in someone or not.


Yeah I'm always twisting hair around my finger or something. Doesn't mean I want to have sex with everyone in my office, i just do it when I'm bored.

I'm quite skeptical of body language. I've never seen any of it actually apply to me.
#37
Quote by SteveHouse
Difficult because it's tied up in scientific publications, which you can't really just access without going through a university library (or paying for it). You're free to use Google Scholar if you like, but expect frustration because you really don't care about lie detection via fMRI. I can tell you that Ekman's research into emotion is fine, but his application of that into microexpressions and lie detection (ala Lie to Me) doesn't cut the cheese. He and a colleague (2004) tested some 20,000 people about their lie detection ability, and found 29 "Truth Wizards," that's pretty much the most famous study in favor of what he advocates. And an article that I CAN'T FUKKEN OPEN WTF GOOGLE SCHOLAR calls that into question, saying those results are indistinguishable from chance--four years have passed and that attack still stands.

I do get this though

From this abstract, which goes on to mention what specific lie-detecting interviewers might do (read: not everyday people) to do better.


Thanks, 'twas an interesting read. Lead me to find this:

http://halshs.archives-ouvertes.fr/docs/00/19/73/32/PDF/rosenberg00.pdf


Quote by NoSpoonDimensio
The hair playing has been called bullshit a lot before though by my friends unless they were jealous...and for the dilated pupils, well I had one or two instances where the girl had dilated pupils but then in direct sunlight they didn't, so all of this is confusing as hell.



...did you just quote yourself?
"I specialize in driving a set like I'm driving a Lexus" - Uncle Mez
Last edited by laid-to-waste at May 30, 2011,
#39
I can't read body language at all. That includes my own, I have no idea if there's anything I do to indicate anything.

Edit: I lie, there's one thing I sometimes do which I am overly aware of. When I'm with someone I'm attracted to I sometimes open my mouth ever so slightly on one side. That's all.
🙈 🙉 🙊
Last edited by entity0009 at May 30, 2011,
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