#1
i like to walk outside on autumn nights,
when the amber street-lamps light up the oaks and maples.
often, i can see depth in the sky;
like staring fathoms in four dimensions.
#3
Quote by rd93
The imagery was nice, but there isn't much to this. I'm not trying to be a d1ck but I didn't really draw any kind of emotion from this.


The purpose was really to describe a moment, a state of mind if you will. More an atmosphere of thought than an emotional state. Regardless, I see where you're coming from and appreciate that you took the time to comment. If you have anything you want crit on, just drop a link.
Last edited by canvasDude at May 31, 2011,
#4
Quote by canvasDude
The purpose was really to describe a moment, a state of mind if will. More an atmosphere of thought than an emotional state. Regardless, I see where you're coming from and appreciate that you took the time to comment. If you have anything you want crit on, just drop a link.


I know what you mean. I myself have trouble writing long pieces because I tend to write about moments. It wasn't much of a crit haha, but I'd appreciate it if you looked at the poem in my sig.
#8
Quote by Svetlova
Solid title.


Thanks.

Quote by Grimnak27
murasaki=purple?


Yes, but masu murasaki is also a type of Japanese maple tree that is popular in my area.