#1
This one is fairly new and it's called The Grand Design. It's going to be recorded very soon (If all goes well), so hopefully there won't be much to change. It's approximately 4 minutes in length, so it isn't a bonafide Prog Epic, but it develops some nice ideas (However it would be nice to know if there are any other ways I could develop ideas). Hope you all enjoy it, main influences for this one was Cynic, Nobuo Uematsu and Jeff Loomis.

Edit: Sorry I posted the wrong song before, I'll leave it up as I still need feedback on it (As the one uploaded on that topic was not until after everyone had posted on the original version). The new one is called The Grand Design. I'm slowly making a transition between Progressive Power Metal to Fusion/World/Electronica/Prog/Death Metal. Although the Death Metal part is still under construction as trying to not sound like Deicide and Cannibal Corpse and more like Atheist, Death and Cynic.
Attachments:
01. Prelude - A Midnight Reversal.gp5
01. Prelude - A Midnight Reversal.mid
The Grand Design.gp5
The Grand Design.mid
Last edited by HaydenHohns at Jun 4, 2011,
#2
I swear I've heard this exact thing posted by someone else a while ago...

*EDIT*

Sorry, I didn't realise it was you that posted it.. you know you've already posted this as a completed version?

See here:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1435622
Last edited by goatsock at Jun 2, 2011,
#3
CRIT

I really like the way you start the song with that lead guitar flourish, before throwing us into the more slow paced Riff B. It starts the song in a very dramatic way.

I don't like the drums in riff C. I'd suggest trying to make them follow the interesting rhythm the guitar is playing, and start a bit more subtly than with the china cymbal on every beat, it seems out of place to me.

I love Theme I, it's a great melody. Although I'm not sure why the last bar is in 5/4, it doesn't seem to add much. Also, I'd suggest having some kind of variation the second time the theme is repeated, something to make it seem more balanced out. Maybe the second time Theme I is repeated, change the 15th and 14th frets to the 7th and 10th, respectively?

I like how you've re-incorporated riff B into riff C in Theme 1 (var). I still don't like that one bar of 5/4, though. Same with Theme II, it'd flow a lot better if it was all 4/4 IMO.

I don't really like the drums in Theme II or Riff A (var) either I'm afraid. They seem to be the heavier parts of the song, but the slightly awkward 3+3+2 rhythm stops them from gaining much momentum. I'd suggest trying out a more standard metal kick/snare beat instead of having the drums follow the guitars' rhythm.

44/45 was a slightly dodgy transition, IMO. I don't like when bands seem to stop the song to get from one section to another, it kills any momentum or tension the song's built up. A lot of bands do it, but I'd avoid doing it in future compositions, I think if you can't find a way to seamlessly get from one section to another, those two sections should not be next to each other.

I love the variation on theme I (the one at bar 53), it sounds great harmonised. It leads into theme II really nicely as well. The variation on recurring themes is great, you've avoided the incoherent structures a lot of prog suffers from.

64 to 65 is another slightly dodgy transition, IMO. Bars 53 to 64 had built up some momentum, that transition dispelled it completely.

Midtro was great. It used unusual time signatures really tastefully. I like it.

I also liked how you ended with the same flourish you began it with. Created a great sense of closure.

Overall I enjoyed it very much, there were just a few things I'd change. I'm looking forward to your next step into Fusion/World/Electronica/Prog/Death Metal.

Also, since you mentioned other ways to develop ideas, maybe try transposing them into different keys, or getting them to work in different contexts. I really like having songs transition from one mood to another, and then trying to get the angry minor key melody from the first half to work as a slow sad major key melody in the second (or whatever it is). That's just something I like doing, but it's an idea anyway.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#4
Prelude

Very bright and upbeat intro, and flows perfectly into Riff A, which is great. Theme II is great, and I liked the synchronized leads and the key change that happens throughout the section.

Riff C is awesome, and has some good groove to it. Theme II is tasteful and melancholic, and is a great section. Im wondering if you noticed that you used the markers "Theme II" twice.

You also skipped Theme III.

Theme IV is good, and although I like the tritones in the leads at 46, the could be a bit too shrill. Riff D is a good transition back into Riff C and Theme II, and the Steel string chords have a very good resolve to them. Good transition back to Riff A.

I liked Theme I's mod, that was a good section. Riff E has good closure, and was a good way to end the song.

Great piece, done very well, with great themes. Ill crit the other one after you crit mine, if thats Ok...

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1448549
#5
EDIT: It might help if I told you which one I was critting, huh? The Grand Design.

I can definitely hear the Loomis in the leads. Everything here seems to be in order. The harmonies and chords all work very well, they convey a great feeling of melody. The transition to Riff D was unexpected, and, IMO, was executed terribly. I'd touch that up so that it flows smoother. The electronic sounding transition was great, worked excellent to bring the listener back into the heavy riffs.

I hate writing kiss-ass crits like this, because I feel like I come off as just that, an ass-kiss. But other than the bit I mentioned above, I can't say there's much else that can be done as far as improvement.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=27352677#post27352677