Hello everyone. This is just a starting idea for a song I have started writing. It's rather open and basic right now (more specifically, the drums) but I intend to fix it all up with some opinions.

Rate and critique, and I will return the favor.
Intro is very cool, and the bassline is great. It gives me a kind of Lack of Comprehension feel. The following is interesting, but something seems off in it. I don't know how to elaborate, but it just seems a bit odd.

Riff at 21 is nice and has groove, but the transition to the 165 BPM material could be better. It could also help if both guitars don't do the same part, if you have two instruments, why not use them?

I know key doesn't so much matter in this style of death metal, but some some consistancy between sections helps considerably. The bars in 170 BPM are great, and have a good feel to them, but theres almost no transition between bars 50 and 51, and in bars 54 to 55 I was unaware a new section had started.

I like how in bars 73 to 75 you use chromatics to add tension, that was good. And the outro fits well for the song, although once again there was no transition into it.

Transitions aren't always needed, but if one section doesn't flow well into another, it makes it seem choppy. If you look at most Death metal bands, even if they don't have a specific transition they have some kind of build up that makes the chane flow.

Good ideas here, but make them a bit more of a song, rather than a collection of parts.


Thank you.

Any more opinions?

-Also, for anyone wondering, I posted made that account because I forgot about this one. :3
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
Last edited by DragTheWaters11 at Jun 6, 2011,