#1
Another new one for the first time in a while that I actually like and think might have some staying power. It's doom metal. The most doomy thing I've ever done by far.

Crit, comment, rate, hate, whatever, do your thing.

C4C if you give a good honest crit that actually has some... meat to it.

EDIT: GP4 now added. A few minor changes made. Etc.
Attachments:
New Doom.zip
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jun 4, 2011,
#2
Good stuff, although it seemed to bright for me to consider it "Doom" metal, even though it is heavy. I was head bobbing during A-2 and C-1/Melody 1, very good themes there.

Overall, very good material for what it is, although it might drag on slightly.
#3
I must disagree with you there, br00tz, I think this is quite doomy and melancholy. It reminds me lot of Slumber at parts.

First off, I love what you did with the intro, it sets the mood right away. The joint ornamentation you have going on between the acoustic guitar and the bass sets a depressive, somber stage for what's to come.

A2 begins with a powerful chordal theme, and is definitely suitable for the first heavy thing you hear in the song after that acoustic intro, it does a good job of cutting the tension.

I think the riff at B loses a bit of focus, though. The power chords and such just sound a bit meandering, it lacks real phrasing, and I think most of what causes that is the meter shift at 62. It's rather unnecessary if you ask me. It doesn't add so much, and would be better as just a continuation in 4/4.

I love C, though. The pick scrape is cool as hell, and you don't even really notice that it's shifting between 4/4 and 5/4.

My main problem thus far is the lack of cohesion between the sections. I realize how hard it is to maintain a concrete structure at tempos as slow as doom metal speed, but most of it just seems to come and go without enough development. I definitely think you did a good job with that a B-2, though, the building harmony and addition of the double bass is a really cool variation and helps to move the song forward.

Aha, that shift into 6/8 at E is just what I was thinking you needed, a change, but not too drastic. The rhythm calls Opeth to mind, as does the progression and the clean break afterward.

I think near 140 is where it begins to drag a bit. It's all good stuff, but it's just restating previous material without really varying it much. Perhaps make the restatement a bit less obvious, maybe add some soft strings in the background, or change the pulse of the drums. Also, I know this is doom metal and climaxes don't really exist, but if you could put something in that really stands out over everything else it might help the cohesion of the song. Right now it's kind of like ------- when ideally it should be \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\.

Overall though I really like it; it's depressive and doomy and does everything it's supposed to do to the listener. Good job.

Think you could take a look at Baron of Fog in my sig?
#4
LiB - sure it drags a bit now, but I tried to throw in enough variations this time around, and most of it is pretty much made for vocals. And really, this whole dragging, lumbering tone is what doom metal is. Especially of the variety I enjoy... Epic Doom, some Funeral, Melodic Doom/Death...

Tarbosh - Thanks for the crit man I'll definitely try to get to it soon. I agree about the direction issue, which hopefully the solo will rectify, and the few changes I've made to the first two Riff B sections will help as well. The end of the song however, is kind of supposed to be the climax where instead of a solo/lead it's just a supremely DOOOM melody. Which I think it succeeds at. Basically it goes like this for me: ___-----'''''' or something like that.

Regardless, I'm going to be adding some sort of lead/melody over C as well, with variations the second time it comes back to give it some more building too.

PS: Listen to more doom Tarbosh. There's plenty of climaxes and such. Procession [Chants of the Nameless especially], Ereb Altor, Isole, Scald, Candlemass... Colosseum... Mar de Grises too actually.

Anyway though, thanks for the crits guys, I appreciate it.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#5
I did say that it was heavy, but when I think Doom, I think UTTERLY CRUSHING, like more Ulcerate-esque stuff. I will also check out some of those Doom bands you listed.

Vocals would definately help any parts that drag, and besides that it seems like quite a long song, as its 200+ bars at 83 BPM.
#6
Yeah that's very true it is long. A good 10 minutes of song here, which is about average for me.

Doom doesnt have to be utterly crushing though. Hell, Black Sabbath is widely seen as the first Doom band as well as the first heavy metal... [Into the Void is a good example of why] Lord Vicar and Count Raven arent that heavy either. But as far as utterly crushing goes for doom, Ahab and Disembowelment are up there, as is Tyranny/Skepticism and the like...

But I digress, a lot of heaviness gets lost in GP; guitar tone has a big part in heaviness I find. Drum tone and bass tone too obviously.

Oh, and I've changed quite a bit; you might enjoy it more now, or less, if you want to give it another gander...
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jun 4, 2011,
#7
Quote by Life Is Brutal
I did say that it was heavy, but when I think Doom, I think UTTERLY CRUSHING, like more Ulcerate-esque stuff. I will also check out some of those Doom bands you listed.

Vocals would definately help any parts that drag, and besides that it seems like quite a long song, as its 200+ bars at 83 BPM.

Keep in mind that you're listening to software playing programmed notes, and not actual guitars, bass and drums.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.
#8
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
Keep in mind that you're listening to software playing programmed notes, and not actual guitars, bass and drums.

Obviously, but there are still certain tones that you hear that make it seem bright, and you would still hear those played on an actual instrument.

I understand doom doesn't have to be Utterly crushing, but thats what I personally think of when I hear "DOOM". That, and Invader Zim.

If you write something that sounds extremely heavy in GP, then play it on guitar with really heavy tone, do you think the universe could implode?

And yeah, I can see why Black Sabbath are considered one of the first doom metal bands.

Ill probably listen again soon, but can't ATM.