#1
Here's a rough draft of a song I've been working on. There are some things I want to change namely with the bass and a little with the guitar but overall I like it. I experimented with chords I have never used and created on the spot for the intro. Tell me what you think, thanks.

http://soundcloud.com/rocknrory/jazzyalt-song
Gear

Mesa/Boogie Mark V Head
Mills Acoustics Mach 212B
Peavey Vypyr 15w
ESP LTD EC-1000 guitar (BKP Nailbombs)
Fender American Standard Strat
PRS Custom 24
Dunlop KH Signature Wah
Menatone Red Snapper
Boss DD-7 Delay
Zvex Fuzz Factory
#2
Was the intro two guitars? It sounded very good. Bass line was pretty nice too. The only thing was that there wasn't much variation during the song, but that's considering there were no vocals yet. Overall, I liked it.
#3
Quote by trippingiraffe
Was the intro two guitars? It sounded very good. Bass line was pretty nice too. The only thing was that there wasn't much variation during the song, but that's considering there were no vocals yet. Overall, I liked it.


Yeah the intro was two guitars. I have lyrics for what I have so far, which consisted of the intro, verse, and chorus, with no vocals during the intro. I just started singing and I'm quite off key at times but I'm slowly getting better. Thank you for the appreciation, it means a lot.

Heres my lyrics so far:

Bad blood seeps out of your open wound
the midnight sea is a dangerous place to swim
tread water in

Negativity is all in vain, for the smiles they do not produce
dissolution doesn't lead to solution
when something blocks the way

The dilemmas that we face
the darkness that will trace
will see a brighter day
dawn's early shine
turning water into wine
I hope you see the way
Gear

Mesa/Boogie Mark V Head
Mills Acoustics Mach 212B
Peavey Vypyr 15w
ESP LTD EC-1000 guitar (BKP Nailbombs)
Fender American Standard Strat
PRS Custom 24
Dunlop KH Signature Wah
Menatone Red Snapper
Boss DD-7 Delay
Zvex Fuzz Factory
#4
I really love the third part whats the progression for that?

I wasnt a fan of the guitar tones seemed very clanky to me.

A few tempo problems with the drums at the beginning

Is there bass? I felt like the guitar was sitting on top of the drums and if there was any bass it was way hidden below the drums.

Other than that some tone/mixing adjustments and throwing some vocals in there would be interesting to hear. Keep me updated!

check mine out : https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1444596
#5
Hey! Thanks for the crit

That third progression is great, would really like to hear this with vocals!

There are a few problems with timing here and there as has been mentioned, but if it's only a rough then that's OK Mix sounds pretty good too, maybe a little bit more bass EQed on the guitars, let me know if you re record this with vox!