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#1
So, I was sitting on the toilet this afternoon and I started realizing many things.

What I realized when sitting on the toilet...
  • I have overdue library books
  • I can't sweep pick because I can't roll
  • My fan is broken and I need a new one
  • There is bottled water outside in the 100 degree weather
  • My socks have holes in them
  • My phone needs airtime
  • I need to start a thread about toilet thinking on my next U-G visit


I hope you found this slightly comical. I would love to know what random thoughts have ran through your head while sitting on the toilet! =D Share your thoughts?
#2
My shits are pretty aerodynamic.
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


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#3
tell me about it!

about 2 hours ago, i was on the epiphany toilet, and i was like

woah

and it just came to me in an instant:



you're a dickhole
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#6
Don't sit and think for too long after you take a shit. No one wants poo berries.


The last thing I thought of...was a chorus worth of lyrics for a song I was writing a few weeks ago.
#10
Quote by Beastly409
@GbAdimDb5m7

How aerodynamic do they get, bro?

@laid-to-waste

Is that directed at me or GbAdimDb5m7?

humanity, really

nothing personal, we all suck dickholes
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#12
@GezzyDiversion
That is so true. However, I prefer his work in Sixx: AM as to GN'R. But, GN'R is pretty ****ing awesome.

@treysonpwaters
I'm sorry?

@SkepsisMetal
I wasn't thinking after I shit. It was before and during. My only thoughts afterwards were 'damn, I need to quit eating corn'

@Most_Triumphant
That's happened to me one too many times.
#13
Quote by laid-to-waste
humanity, really

nothing personal, we all suck dickholes


speak for yourself
I'mCool

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Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#14
Quote by Beastly409
@GbAdimDb5m7

How aerodynamic do they get, bro?

@laid-to-waste

Is that directed at me or GbAdimDb5m7?

Really aerodynamic, my shits come out shaped like spears.
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


Free Jani92jani

Free Will Swanson
#16
Quote by Eric_Fail
speak for yourself


sorry man, don't hurt me i enjoy the times i have with my bikes heres my money
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#17
just a few:

i don't have overdue library books cause i'm responsible
i can sweep like a pro
my fan works perfectly fine
it's not 100 degrees out and there is cold soda in the fridge
my socks don't have holes cause i often don't wear them
i have a plan for unlimited minutes
i start pretty cool threads sometimes and don't make bad ones.
i'm SPIDERMAN!
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#18
Quote by theogonia777
just a few:

i don't have overdue library books cause i'm responsible
i can sweep like a pro
my fan works perfectly fine
it's not 100 degrees out and there is cold soda in the fridge
my socks don't have holes cause i often don't wear them
i have a plan for unlimited minutes
i start pretty cool threads sometimes and don't make bad ones.
i'm SPIDERMAN!


I have overdue books cause I had to take my little sis to the hospital
I have been playing for only a year
We are kinda poor
It's really effing hot out here (Indiana, US) and we don't like soda
I always wear socks
I hate plans
My threads usually get turned down (except this one, oddly)
I'M BATMAN!
#20
Quote by Beastly409
That's quite awesome. Mine are usually log shaped. =D But, why do we look anyway?

I made a thread about looking at poop once, also, it's that feeling you get when you log at that giant piece of shit that was just inside of you, and you pushed it out.
Quote by tattyreagh
He's the hero The Pit deserves but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. GbAdimDb5m7.


Free Jani92jani

Free Will Swanson
#23
Quote by Beastly409
I apologize. Perhaps clorox bleach would help clean it? Also, what's with Manchester United? Are a lot of UGers football (soccer, for Americans) fans?


no, just every person in manchester ever

apart from me, course
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#24
I hear sweet riffs that come into my head. They're gone by the time I pick up my guitar though.
I don't usually realize things when I'm on the toilet though. Unless I'm doing homework and get stuck then when I get out I have the answer.
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#25
Quote by yaaarp
I hear sweet riffs that come into my head. They're gone by the time I pick up my guitar though.
I don't usually realize things when I'm on the toilet though. Unless I'm doing homework and get stuck then when I get out I have the answer.


Bring your guitar in with you, next time you gotta drop a couple.

I have a question for you fellas? Do you stand up and bend over and wipe or stay sitting down? I for one am fond of the stand-up wipe, so my hand isn't so near the water that has been soiled. I also use baby wipes, THEN toilet paper. I like the feeling of a refreshed, clean anus.
#26
I've only ever realized two things on the toilet. That i shit at mach 3 and that I have man parts.
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Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Jun 4, 2011,
#27
Quote by Norse Thrasher
Bring your guitar in with you, next time you gotta drop a couple.

I have a question for you fellas? Do you stand up and bend over and wipe or stay sitting down? I for one am fond of the stand-up wipe, so my hand isn't so near the water that has been soiled. I also use baby wipes, THEN toilet paper. I like the feeling of a refreshed, clean anus.


Honestly, I stand and wipe thrice. If we had baby wipes, I would use them.
#28
I really need to adjust my diet to solve my constipation problems.

....it never happens =/
#29
Quote by Beastly409
Honestly, I stand and wipe thrice. If we had baby wipes, I would use them.

Mmm, you can never be too sure. I do three times with the baby wipe, folding it after each wipe.
#30
That I havn't had a healthy bowel movement since I was like 15.
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#31
Hmm, maybe I was under the wrong impression. This is a totally male website..... but we can't talk about porn? WTF is up with that?
#32
Quote by LZRocker
Hmm, maybe I was under the wrong impression. This is a totally male website..... but we can't talk about porn? WTF is up with that?

Their is tons of girls on this website.
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Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

#33
......................................................................................................

Then why the **** are we talking about thinking while we're taking a shit?
#35
Quote by LZRocker
Hmm, maybe I was under the wrong impression. This is a totally male website..... but we can't talk about porn? WTF is up with that?


.. And what relevance does this bring? Lol. Yeah, Pr0n is ok but, dude, keep that to the pr0n sites. There are females here, and you have to respect them. Just go look up something on google. And, if need be, PM me and I'll give you my special list.
#36
Quote by DarrenReeder
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#37
Quote by Beastly409
.. And what relevance does this bring? Lol. Yeah, Pr0n is ok but, dude, keep that to the pr0n sites. There are females here, and you have to respect them. Just go look up something on google. And, if need be, PM me and I'll give you my special list.


LOL!

First off, I wasn't exactly serious....

And secondly, we're still talking about taking a shit..... even if we are thinking in the process
#38
Quote by Twist of fate
"I'm sitting on the toilet"

Then I think about how gross it is that girls poo. I'm marrying a girl that doesn't.


+1 for you dude, one person we can take off of the 2 Girls 1 Cup fanclub
#39
Quote by yaaarp
I hear sweet riffs that come into my head. They're gone by the time I pick up my guitar though.
I don't usually realize things when I'm on the toilet though. Unless I'm doing homework and get stuck then when I get out I have the answer.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1fYpkbq8jM


Usually I think about my later-life when I'm on the toilet. Or I just dream about being in a famous band playing infront of thousands.
Last edited by TomusAM at Jun 4, 2011,