#1
This is a tune I wrote today in about a two hours after listening to Cult of Luna, Rosetta and Pelican. I took a fairly simplistic approach to writing it. It's repetitive, but I'm in the process of working out some vocal melodies that should help with that.

It's not done by any means, but I'm looking for some feedback.

Thoughts?

C4C

EDIT : New version up.
Attachments:
Post metal song no rse.gp5
Post metal song no rse EDIT WITH OUTRO.gp5
Y'all don't say that
Last edited by jackblackyeah17 at Jun 7, 2011,
#2
The whole intro section is great, I liked the addition of bass and drums, it all sounds pretty good. I know it may not be what youre going for, but some keyboard would go pretty well with it when the drums come in, like maybe some strings or a synth lead part could sound pretty good. At bar 17, I would probably change the drums up to make it seem more like a buildup into the next section, like add in more snare hits before that little buildup at the end on the snare.

The next part with the distortion was pretty BA, of course it doesnt sound that great in MIDI but Im just going to imagine it in real life sounding great. When the clean intro riff comes back in it sounds good, but I wasn't really feeling the vocals to be honest. Then the heavy riff just repeats. It could sound really good with some harsher vocals over top, maybe like chant-like vocals. The fill at bar 64 was pretty darn tasty, nice job.

The next part was pretty good, kinda carried the vibe over with it. However, I didn't really like those bar 76 eighth note staccato things. I think that it would sound much better if you have the bass go down an octave, with it playing so high, it kinda sounds weak because you dont have that lower register.

Overall, I dont listen to too much stuff like Rosetta, but I have before, and Id say that you got down that type of song here and you captured that sort of feeling. You only really had like three parts to this song but they were all good here. I can imagine this being quite a good song. If I were you, I would continue with what youre going with and lead into another heavy section. Afterwards, maybe go back to the intro. You should definitely go back to that intro riff again in the song, with no other instruments. And then - what I had in mind - would be to add in a long snare buildup that eventually leads to like an explosion of that main riff played in distortion with a very melodic guitar solo over it. Do that and I will love you!

Actually...I have kind of a bad habit of taking other's songs and changing them and stuff. I hope you dont get upset, but I took your tab and wrote in at the end a buildup leading into a guitar solo. So if you are interested in that route, then you can look at it, I left a backing band and stuff, you just need to add in a solo over top. Im not sure if it fits the style you were going for but it sounds pretty cool anyways :/

If you don't mind, how about a C4C here? Theres lots of songs there so you can just choose how many you want to listen to. Peace
Attachments:
Post metal song no rse EDIT WITH OUTRO.gp5
#3
Thanks for the crit, I agree with most of what you said, and made some pretty drastic changes. I kept lots of your ideas, but changed them up to fit my style. I don't think I will add a solo (pretty garbage at those ), but I like your idea for the outro.

I posted a new version of the song. See my first post if anyone wants to take a look.
Y'all don't say that
#5
The whole intro develops nicely, I think the weirdly accented 3/4 gives the illusion of an odder time signature, which is a very interesting effect. At 20 I feel like there could be a whole lot more atmospheric stuff going on, might I suggest saturating it with pads and guitar bends and stuff? That would make it sound a lot more huge, or maybe you could just have it be small for now and then later on in the song bring it back with everything in full force.

Post-metal and post-rock generally revolves around those giant atmospheres, if you look at stuff like Pelican they have these huge, beefy soundscapes to back up their more basic structures. You might want to look into that, I don't know.

All the riffs and such are nice, but they would benefit from a more unique texture for sure. Manipulate the MIDI sound engine to get your own sound. Combine voices in ways you've never done before, and don't be afraid to experiment. I look forward to hearing this finished.