#1
annihilate
annihilate
annihilate
annihilate


what do we say when words mean nothing?
something, perhaps
or nothing
or something else.


what do we do when life means nothing?
sleep, drink tea,
put on lipstick, smile at strangers,
say frightening things and
forget them.


oh the couples holding hands are so beautiful in the sun
and the baby gurgles glug and grug and glug
dandelion puffs burn so pretty, fleeting quickly
to come undone
to come undone
to come undone
it all makes sense now.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
I absolutely love this. The lines "say frightening things and forget them" really struck me, as did the line about dandelions. This piece is exactly the sort of thing I've been into lately; it has a sort of real-life abstractness about it that I adore and greatly wish to capture in my own work.

I'm really digging your writing lately. Keep the words coming.
#3
'drink tea'

we all have our go-to images. that is definitely ours. i feel like it fits you perfectly. as for the poem, there is something here. I can feel it. But I'm not sure what it is. You definitely put forth a lot of philosophical topics in your poetry and I like how it gets me thinking. Maybe I just need to think harder and ponder more over this poem, but I really think a few more hints would be beneficial here. Draw some connection between "annihiliate" and the rest of the poem (although there might be a connection there with the dandelions coming undone...not sure though). My main point is that these images are lovely and you are delving into some interesting thematic waters, I can't tell. However, I'm trying to swim with you and I feel like I'm drowning.
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
it is the great pretender. you will never really know what it amounted to. i sometimes wonder
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#5
really pretty. i like how the transition to the last stanza seems free and careless, i'm not sure about the "oh", though, not necessarily bad, but idk. i did enjoy the piece as a whole. anyway, hello saadia darling, nice to read you
#6
I thought this was pretty in the same way a single blackberry is pretty. It wets the tongue... provides and intense flavor for a few orgasmic seconds... but then, it fades and I'm left with the realization that I'm still hungry. I just felt like you talked in circles about 3-5 key ideas and didn't connect the dots well enough for me to feel like you delivered much.

Frankly, it feels like it's almost too much you. The sporadic, quirky jumps between swinging glass and candle chandeliers. The rest of us are standing below, wondering why you are wearing a leopard print leotard... and we're totally missing that you're a female Tarzan saving the universe... or whatever you're doing up there.