For what it is it sounds pretty good. But to be honest my friend you sound like EVERY melodic hardcore band I've heard. A running problem with this genre is that it lacks diversity. Maybe try to think outside the genre a tad and see what you can do.

I broke down the song a bit and studied it. Your breakdown (and thus what the rest of the song is based off of) has been used over and over by other bands. Their is only so much you can do when you chug on one string and play at the relatively same tempo as everyone else.

The vocals are also similar, in phrasing and tone, to everything else on the market.

Listen man, I'm not trying to be mean I'm really not. I play out with alot of melodic hardcore/deathcore bands and this just seems to be the standard problems.

That being said I feel like you have potential, maybe just try to diversify a bit. I hope I didn't offend you as this was not my intention at all. Feel free to rip my band apart if you want: www.fadetooblivion.com as I enjoy constructive criticism.

Good luck man!
Oh no dude I understand what you're saying completely, and I agree! This song is just our basic mosh/crowd pleaser song. We wanted to record it first so that our fans would be able to learn the song for when we play it. We have different things going on, and are working this summer to come up with some really great stuff. We didn't go all out on this one because it was our first recording, and we wanted to take it easy while still showing what we can do. We come from an area where there really are no serious bands, and this was to show all the haters out here that we are serious with what we're doing. Thanks for sharing your opinion I appreciate it!