#1
I'm standing up, no boner.
I sit down, boner.

Now, the strange twist is that I actually do not have the boner mentioned in the latter. I own at least two pairs of shorts that betray me in this way. By having an unfortunate bulge in the zipper area, these shorts manage to bunch up when I sit down and form a mini-"boner". Most of the time I just tuck it under my belt, yet it is sure to reappear everytime I return to a sitting position.

So what's the problem? Am I buying shorts that are too loose? Did the manufacturer make a horrible mistake? Bad Karma?

This doesn't seem to happen with my jeans, although I have come across one pair that mimicked this flaw.

...And yes, this was mentioned on Curb Your Enthusiasm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63CBo7Z83-Q

This isn't a new problem for me either. When I was in 9th grade, I forgot to wear my P.E. shorts during gym class one day and this kid made fun of my "boner" due to my dickies shorts. I tried to explain the problem to him, but it was of no avail.

Feel my pain?
#3
Quote by Kill A Kitten
You know that old saying: "Men who play bass in the band have the largest genitalia." Well, it's the same for women.
#4
Quote by Todd Hart


Seriously TS; what are you talking about?

EDIT: Ooooh, got ya. Who cares?
#6
You're a dog, dawg.

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jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


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Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

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It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#8


13 year old, its okay, everyones jeans does this, even girls jeans boners
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jimmybanks youre a genius


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#9
Quote by primusfan
pants tent, bro.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63CBo7Z83-Q

edit: you beat me to the punch. that's whatno get for not reading all of OP.


Errr... right. You know that I put that in the OP right?

edit: Damnit, you caught your own mistake... or did you?
Last edited by Incinerate420 at Jun 7, 2011,
#10
Just fap your fake boner, it'll disappear eventually.
Quote by Snowblind 911





maybe it's because of your description, or the fact that it's 1:30am here, or both, i can't stop giggling.


Sometimes girls say that too...
#12
Quote by Incinerate420

This isn't a new problem for me either. When I was in 9th grade, I forgot to wear my P.E. shorts during gym class one day and this kid made fun of my "boner" due to my dickies shorts. I tried to explain the problem to him, but it was of no avail.

Feel my pain?


I can only imagine the conversation.

"U haz bonerz, LULZ!"
"No, dude, it's my pants, seriously, they fold in a certain way so that..."
"LULZ! BONERFACE!"
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oh my god! guitarViking is a genius... respect !!!

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#14
ALL my pants do this, except for sweatpants or basketball shorts or w/e. I hate it so much. My school uniform pants in high school were the worst offenders. I'm still not sure if its just poorly made or poorly fitting pants though...
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#15
I didn't realise people actually considered this a problem...I mean...everyone knows it happens.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#17
Tape a sign to your pants that says, "I haz bonerz! LULZ!"

And seriously, get over it. We get it. You have shorts bulge. We all get that...
#20
Yea, my wife left me because of it and now I'm an alcoholic

And so I sit here in my chair with a bottle of jack daniels and a boner that anyone would be proud of.
Last edited by Incinerate420 at Jun 8, 2011,
#21
I'd be guessing that when you're standing thoughts about men are less frequent, when you're sitting down your fantasies go wild!
yo.

I BELIEVE
#23



Yes. A triple wtf?
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#25
Yeah, I remember my first erection too.
return 0;

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#28
I only boner when I sit down. Then I massage it.
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#29
Quote by LordBishek


A new case? This gives me such a raging clue


~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#31
i hate those things cause you never know what to do with them if you are in a public place.
#32
This annoys me as well. Luckily, it's mostly only a minor deal, and if my penis actually boner'd in that direction, I'd be worried.
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