#1
in a season’s mood-
what may spring to life
may just as quickly vanish in ice,
what will fall and take leave of its place,
could just as easily rest upon its face
and in a certain light may be taken to bloom,
should by evening come to brood.
#2
I really like the way you captured seasons within lines. Like in line 4, I don't know if "leave" was also meant as a reference to autumn but I noticed it and took that from it. I was surprised that you didn't include anything for summer, then, since you seem to reference the other seasons. But I really liked this.
#3
Quote by rd93
I really like the way you captured seasons within lines. Like in line 4, I don't know if "leave" was also meant as a reference to autumn but I noticed it and took that from it. I was surprised that you didn't include anything for summer, then, since you seem to reference the other seasons. But I really liked this.


glad you caught that. short poems are far too precious to throw words around. I thoroughly believe that word choice is of the utmost importance.

summer was somewhat alluded to in the 2nd last line, but yeah. thanks for the words
#6
This is fantastic. You did very well in hinting at the seasons with your word choice.

The one line I don't see any value in is "could just as easily rest upon its face." I just don't see it's connection with the rest of the piece, and I feel like you threw it in simply for the rhyme. The rest is brilliant.
#7
Quote by Winter Sky
This is fantastic. You did very well in hinting at the seasons with your word choice.

The one line I don't see any value in is "could just as easily rest upon its face." I just don't see it's connection with the rest of the piece, and I feel like you threw it in simply for the rhyme. The rest is brilliant.


thanks for getting back to my piece

and I know that its a little pointless to explain a poem (if people don't get it themselves, etc.) but that line might need it a bit. it is there to rhyme, yes, but more importantly the 'resting on its face' is a metaphor for the way that the earth turns to give us seasons (referencing 'drop off the face of the earth' etc.). what is summer here might be winter somewhere else, its to reveal the way that its only a perception.

I appreciate the read.