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#1
Mine might sound like nothing, but it is the most recent as it happened today.

Today while on my bike, I rode through a muddy puddle and I saw a bit of mud actually fly right in to my eye. My eye still stings a little bit now from it. Muddy thing...

You done anything stupid? I am sure you have, Pit.
This will start a RIOT! in me
#3
I was in a forest, and I took a Poo on a leaf, but as I was about to pull my sweatpants up, i lost my balance and fell back into my Poo. No one would help me.
#4
I pissed in my bed as a child.
In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.


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#6
I've done plenty of stupid things in my time. Can't think of any that were accidents though....
#7
I shat myself at my own wedding.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#10
Quote by Jon777
One time, I slapped absolutely nothing when I was playing Egyptian rat screw. Not sure why I did that...

I love that game
Quote by UntilISleep
You have excellent taste in literature, dear sir

Quote by Primus2112
You have excellent taste in video games, good sir.

Quote by GbAdimDb5m7
You have terrible taste in signatures, idiotic sir.

kkoo
#11
I had this kid.

Then I touched him.

Only the first part was an accident.
Quote by DonGlover

You look like a young Eugene Levy, but with a moustache.

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Quote by Dreadnought
Kicking a man when he's down, I'm proud of you

When they're down is the safest time.

Soundcloud
Sharks Stanley Cup 15-16
Sharks Stanley Cup 16-17,,,,?
#14
When I do something stupid, I damn well mean to do it.
All the way from Palm Springs, just out of detox.
Show him a warm welcome, let's hear some applause
#15
When I was in junior high back around 1970, I had to take a crap before my last class but didn't want to do it at my school (I have a thing about not wanting to use public toilets because they're usually gross). So I held it in, hoping that I could get home before my bowels would force the issue.

I made it through class and quickly dashed off for home, but just before I got to the apartment complex I was living in at the time out the nasty stuff came.
#17
Walked into the door again
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#19
I was running through my house earlier this evening and stepped on a cat turd that must have fallen off ones ass hair and smeared it all over the hardwood floor. Thank God I had socks on.
#20
Quote by RU Experienced?
I was running through my house earlier this evening and stepped on a cat turd that must have fallen off ones ass hair and smeared it all over the hardwood floor. Thank God I had socks on.


For whatever reason, I imagined you were doing this naked....
#21
Quote by RU Experienced?
I was running through my house earlier this evening and stepped on a cat turd that must have fallen off ones ass hair and smeared it all over the hardwood floor. Thank God I had socks on.


I at least hope you actually own cats.
And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither... nor women neither.
#22
Quote by Tragic Mulatto
I was in a forest, and I took a Poo on a leaf, but as I was about to pull my sweatpants up, i lost my balance and fell back into my Poo. No one would help me.


Your a boom boom baby :p
#23
I *almost* failed in epictastic proportions today at work. I do maintenance on a golf course, and today I had to go around in a cart to cut the grass around poles and garbage cans with an edger.

At a certain point, I had to park on a hillside. However, these carts have crappy handbrakes that don't work all the time, and seeing as the one I was driving didn't *seem* to be affected by the hill, I said "what the F" and didn't bother to spend another ten minutes trying to get the handbrake up correctly. That's when I take out the edger from behind the cart and head towards the area I had to cut... and start hearing the wheels of the cart turning alone. I quickly (thankfully) turn my head to see the cart slowly rolling down the hill (which goes down for a long time, only to end with a narrow bridge over a pond). With my bitchin'-ass reflexes, I run after the cart, jump into it and hit the brake pedal. That's when I SUCCESSFULLY put up the handbrake.

Tl;dr - I probably scared the shit out of, and then impressed a couple golfers at the tee who didn't bother telling me that my cart was rolling to its doom. An almost epic fail turned out to be an epic win.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.


Listening to: Chick Corea, Yes, Genesis, Jethro Tull


It is I, the mighty shitkicker, as prophesied by JustRooster. Obey me.
#24
Choked on a penny playing save the queen. ****ing stupid game
And every time I've taken the top off a bottle and thrown the drink in the bin, or unwrapped something and thrown the food in the bin.
#25
Quote by robhc
For whatever reason, I imagined you were doing this naked....

You like what you see honey?

Quote by Caustic
I at least hope you actually own cats.
I would hope so.
#26
Quote by RU Experienced?
You like what you see honey?


Not particularly
#29
I'm technically not suppose to disclose the details of this event but the lesson I learned from it is don't go into a bar in Ireland and order an Irish Car Bomb. They don't like that for some reason.
#30
Quote by Eric_Fail
Walked into the door again

One does not simply walk into more doors.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#31
Quote by BladeSlinger
One does not simply walk into more doors.







that lulstack was most certainly earned


Oh you know, just stupid things like puncturing my skull with an ATV, broke my arm when I fell snowboarding, ripped my eyelid in half, giving myself a concussion on a shopping cart, just normal stuff...
Quote by silhouettica
Oh, DON'T use a knife. It cuts through your strings. I did that once, thinking, its the Low E, its invincible. Turns out, its not...

Quote by Kensai
Awesome
Last edited by Angus_Junior35 at Jun 8, 2011,
#32
Quote by Jon777
Best card game ever.


i'm always trying to convince my sisters to combine Egyptian Rat Screw with Bloody Knuckles, but they're not going for it.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#34
Quote by BladeSlinger
One does not simply walk into more doors.


Oh god, I just spat my own spit everywhere laughing.
Geniusly done sir, I award you 1 (one) golfclap
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#36
Quote by BladeSlinger
One does not simply walk into more doors.



You sir, are the epitome of excellence.
#38
Quote by Angus_Junior35




that lulstack was most certainly earned


Oh you know, just stupid things like puncturing my skull with an ATV, broke my arm when I fell snowboarding, ripped my eyelid in half, giving myself a concussion on a shopping cart, just normal stuff...


It most certainly was earned.
Fanfiction profile: Kutlessrocker's Fanfiction profile. Click Me!

Quote by BrokenBricks
haha yah, kinda. cows are such hilarious creatures, they would be so worthless in nature. the totality of their existence is to taste good with A1 poured on them.
#39
I was visiting the outter banks NC and accidently walked into the wrong house and dropped a deuce in the bathroom. I heard the people outside talking and realised what I had done so as soon as I finished up I bee lined it right out the door. All the houses on the beach look the damn same so I don't really think they could have blamed me.
#40
I blew my chance to go to the movies with a girl I like :/
feelsbadman.jpg
Quote by tacaco1000
yes, babies tend to become a blue gooey liquid when kept inside a plastic bottle in the dark for a year.
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