#1
This is a song I wrote called Falling Stars. Let me know what you think, and if you want to read some of my other lyrics, add me on facebook. facebook.com/billygraffiti

I Know you're gonna hate me for this
But I think we just had our last kiss
I don't know what else I could say
But it's not like you'd care anyway

I remember all our late nights
We'd get into such stupid fights
You'd shut me up with a kiss
Then we would just laugh about it

We we're on a mountain screaming hey
We could never forget that day
Nothing else mattered to us
Having each other was enough

Those days seem so long ago now
Everythings changed some way somehow
You're not the same girl as before
And I can't take this anymore

I know I said we'd be together forever
But I guess tonight forever is dying
You know I really tried to make this work
I'm just too ****ing sick of all your lying
I'll move on to something bigger and better
You'll lay there in your bed crying
You know I would've done anything for you
But at this point I'm just done trying

When you give someone all your heart, and you don't get much back
She is never worth it, leave her on the tracks
If the stars are falling don't pay them any mind
There's someone better out there and she isn't hard to find

Now after a year and six months
You have lost all of my trust
I don't know what else I could do
But it's not like your feelings were true

You've easily managed to break
Every promise that you made
Fed up with your alibies
And hearing all sorts of lies

So now I'm setting myself free
But I can tell you honestly
You will feel lonely and hurt
Take this as a lesson learnt

So I guess that this is the end
If you want I'll still be your friend
But you'll never have me again
Some things you just cannot mend

I know I said we'd be together forever
But I guess tonight forever is dying
You know I really tried to make this work
I'm just too ****ing sick of all your lying
I'll move on to something bigger and better
You'll lay there in your bed crying
You know I would've done anything for you
But at this point I'm just done trying

When you give someone all your heart, and you don't get much back
She is never worth it, leave her on the tracks
If the stars are falling don't pay them any mind
There's someone better out there and she isn't hard to find
#2
content was good, but its way too f*cking long. everything worked, and i liked the chorus, but for the verses...one or two stanzas will do. not fifteen
#3
The song in total is 4 minutes long. I'm playing it at a show this Saturday, I'll try to get a recording of it.
#7
In response to the poster who argued that it was too long- that's entirely dependent on what your musical style showcases. If you were to have extended instrumental bridges and an epic solo, yeah, that's a lot of verses. But if you're mostly showcasing the lyrics and the vocalist with the instrumentals as back up, that's different.

That being said, I did find the content of the last couple verses to be a little redundant, but I haven't heard it. If it's quick repetition of sentiment, I could see it working.
#8
Love it! The rhyming and flow of the lyrics are awesome! I'll assume this is a really fast song?
C4C... deal?


I am friendly, so to anyone who is reading this... don't be afraid to comment and befriend me

P.S. You can be as harsh as you want when critisising... I enjoy the truth!!
#9
This might sound weird coming from me, but your rhyme scheme is faintly boring and hackneyed. It makes the rest of the song seem like the rhyme scheme is doing the driving, here.
#10
The song isn't fast or slow, it's about an average pace. Also, there are no solos, the song is all about the vocals.

I could see how the two parts in the middle of the second verse are redundant, I'll work on that.

About the rhyme scheme - Honestly, this song is meant to be a catchy, poppy song. I know most people on site would find it cheesy or lame, but it's not the crowd I'm aiming for anyways. I just thought I'd get some feedback from people I know would actually give me some criticism, because every girl I show or play the song to just goes "OMG you're amazing blah blah blah"
#12
The song is just under 4 minutes, it seems long but it really isn't. I wish I had some sort of recorder because I'll be playing it live in 4 hours.