#2
It's better than anything I've done, and I dig it. I'll try to give you some constructive criticism, but take it with a grain of salt, because, like I said, you're obviously farther along than I am.

The chorus annoys me for some reason. I can't pin down why, exactly. The only rationalizations I can come up with are

-that it's pretty short- I'd like a little more meat to it. To tie in with that idea...

-it's pretty blunt and unsubtle compared to the verse. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to a lack of subtlety- I don't get the idea that a writer should always have to be obtuse to say something. If you have something original to say, just say it without a thesaurus. But you use some pretty excellent imagery and figurative language, especially towards the beginning, and so the jump from "the poor have cried, staining the glasses of buildings/still the decadence won't smear/we've made an image of spotless vanity/ but there are no angels here" (which I really dig as a section) to something as blunt and obvious as " You have come to save me/ I'm on my knees/ Does that make love holy?"is a little jarring. The length may be a part of that. You've given yourself time to develop imagery in the verse, but with as short as the chorus is, the religious imagery comes off weaker and not as developed as it could be.

Also, the line "some god or luck i've found the thing to fufill me" is a little nonsensical- it gets the sentiment across, but it's not as eloquent as the rest, which again, is jarring. Fixing it could be as simple as changing the first word. "By" or "Through" would make a whole lot more gramatical sense. I know that the rules of grammar need not necessarily be applied in a song, but you follow them really well in the rest of it, so the line where you don't sticks out.

With all that said, you're doing what I'm still working up the guts to do, so props to you, sir.