#1
Hey guys,

I'm not sure if this is the right subforum for this, but I figured it would be the best place for it.

I've been recently going through a period, where I've been really overcritical of myself, and analysing parts of my life, to change myself for the better, before I start university in September.

I'm studying music, and hoping to do lots of gigs, mostly acoustic/solo unless if I form a band while I'm there, and I've noticed that my personality isn't really suited to being a performer, because I'm not a big fan of socialising, and I get pretty shy, in person. I realise this will have to change for university anyway, and I hope it'll get me out of my shell a bit.

Onstage, I'm fine, but I'm wondering if this will set me back in the long run? I'm pretty introverted, and I'm not great at talking to people, and its been worrying me, that when you see musicians, even those who write sad, introverted music, they are usually pretty upbeat and extroverted.

Don't get me wrong, I love to make music, I'm enthiusiastic when I perform it, and I like to think I'm a nice enough person, but its a pressing worry that I can't seem to shake off.

Many thanks in advance,

Bryn

xxx
#2
Quote by Stud_Muffin

I'm studying music, and hoping to do lots of gigs, mostly acoustic/solo unless if I form a band while I'm there, and I've noticed that my personality isn't really suited to being a performer, because I'm not a big fan of socialising, and I get pretty shy, in person. I realise this will have to change for university anyway, and I hope it'll get me out of my shell a bit.


You should socialize if you're trying to have fun.
A callous exterior isn't an uncommon way of protecting ideals; it hides the idealists from the derision of fools and cowards. But it also immobilizes them, so that, in trying to preserve their ideals, they risk losing them.
#3
I think many musicians are shy. Its that part of their personalities that makes practicing alone so easy. If you are ok on stage then no problems.
Quote by AlanHB
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#4
Quote by Attenuare
You should socialize if you're trying to have fun.


Yeah man, I realise, but my problem is, that I'm not used to socialising, and I get very uncomfortable. People see that I'm uncomfortable, think I'm weird, etc etc. I should have mentioned in the OP, but I've never had any proper friends, which is why I'm going to uni so far away from where I live; so I can make new friends, and "reinvent myself" so to speak.

I was just wondering if its a problem, maybe at the start of your real musical career (I have gigged regularly round my area, but its terrible for music, so the stage experience was the main gain from this, not the exposure), to be a bit uncomfortable socialising?
#5
you sound like Neil Peart (Rush Drummer) on their documentery Behind The Lighted Stage. He was a super chill guy, and he is really awesome and funny, but he HATES socializing with people.

Its your preference. and its how you feel about playing and your role when it comes to fans/performing

no big deal!
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#6
Don't worry, a lot of students are shy in high school, then they proceed to come out of their shell when they go to university because there's a lot more people there, many with the same interests as you, and the whole social thing at school disappears.

I think to function in a band you do have to be social to some degree, at least to the extent of communicating with your bandmates. Otherwise if you're fine on stage I don't see a problem.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#7
Quote by Stud_Muffin
Yeah man, I realise, but my problem is, that I'm not used to socialising, and I get very uncomfortable. People see that I'm uncomfortable, think I'm weird, etc etc. I should have mentioned in the OP, but I've never had any proper friends, which is why I'm going to uni so far away from where I live; so I can make new friends, and "reinvent myself" so to speak.


Once you go away to university, you're going to be surrounded by kids your own age, and I guarantee most of them feel just like you. You will make friends as long as you stay positive and have some fun.
A callous exterior isn't an uncommon way of protecting ideals; it hides the idealists from the derision of fools and cowards. But it also immobilizes them, so that, in trying to preserve their ideals, they risk losing them.
#8
Hey, I'm probably almost the same as you. I'm extremely introverted and when I was younger I was extremely shy. There's nothing wrong with that, that's just how you are, just as how some people are extroverted. Of course there will always be those negative stigmas attached to being introverted, it's all b/s.

I wouldn't try to change yourself to someone you are not, just let it progress naturally, and be yourself, because you are just going to end up annoyed (been there done that). I'm not in uni yet so tbh I have no life experience to back myself up, but just be yourself. You're an introvert, you most likely prefer a small, intimate group of friends with the same interests as you, as opposed to a larger group where you may not even know everyone that well. You'll find that group eventually, maybe now, or maybe in uni.

Also, the fact that on stage you let yourself loose is a pretty good indication, most introverts tend to express themselves in different ways. I know many actors who are really introverted, they rarely talk to anyone, but when they go on stage, it's like they're a different person, and they completely change, just for the performance (I know, that's what actors do, but I mean you wouldn't expect a quiet person to act would you?. It's their way of expressing themselves, similar to you. I doubt that will hinder you, if not it will probably make you enjoy performances even more than the average person.
Last edited by zincabopataurio at Jun 14, 2011,
#9
Why do you call yourself Stud Muffin then? :/

Anyway, the only way to get over that sort of stuff, is to keep doing it over and over until you're comfortable.

I used to be really shy, still can be at times, but I'm comfortable on stage now, whereas when I started playing I wasn't, and it showed, I was shy, never spoke to the audience or anything.

But you get over it by practicing it. Live. On stage.
#10
Shy people performing DO have good results.. look at Marilyn Manson, best performer of the 90ies <.<

Buckethead too.

Theres loads of shy people who don't go out much who are BEASTS on stage. I don't think it matters, its about how much you get into what you do. That trance-like state where everything is permitted. I think its really about art and expression. Not so much of being "aware" of the audience. Just do whatever you want to do, without second thoughts, and people will dig it.
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#11
It's going to be OK.

I used to be 18, you think it ought to be brilliant and that everyone else is having fun. Actually for most of us it's a difficult time. We suddenly take on adult responsibilities without any experience and have to cope with all that and work whilst battling a raging torrent of hormones.

You are going to survive and it is going to just get better from now on. By the time you leave uni you will have learned so much about yourself and so grown in confidence you'll be a different person. Your music is such a bonus, if you can perform in public it makes you an interesting person and people will want to talk to you and get to know you.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your music.
#12
john frusciante and kurt cobain are/were both shy people...watch a vid of them