#1
I just wrote this yesterday actually and wanted some criticism, mostly on my voice. C4C

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74ULHsY2rMg

P.S I know the screams are terrible, I do.
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#2
I would suggest projecting a little more on the singing, because you push it out for the gritty singing/screaming stuff, but the rest of the time it's hard to tell what you're really singing and I think it would sound better if you projected your voice just a tad more. Cool song though
#3
Vocals need to be louder and grittier and (I don't know if it's intentional) I could hear you strumming the guitar (acoustic sound) and could be heard over the plugged riff which was really annoying. Also, It might just be the way you recorded it, but your tone seems to have too much treble in my opinion- seemed too fizzy throughout.
Hey and cool poster.
Gear:
Fender American Tele (Lefty)
Squier Affinity Strat (Lefty)
Boss DS-1
EHX Small Clone
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Laney LG12
Danelectro FAB Flanger (Rubbish)
#4
Quote by Say Ocean
I would suggest projecting a little more on the singing, because you push it out for the gritty singing/screaming stuff, but the rest of the time it's hard to tell what you're really singing and I think it would sound better if you projected your voice just a tad more. Cool song though


I was actually trying to go for something like that, kind of Sunny Day Real Estate in a way.
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#5
Grungey dude, plain in simple, I'd be pissed if I could fully understand the lyrics of the verse, haha. I didn't think your screams were bad just need to keep doing them more and more and you'll get to where you want them to be. I think what would help most of all is a full band (Which you may have already for all I know), but overall good stuff. You accomplished what any good grunge song can hope to do, you made something that conveyed a genuine emotion, which even if the audience can't fully get on the first take, is clearly percieved through its obvious importance to you. Keep writing!

Crit back? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1452191
#6
ok luvvin this! A youngin just goin for it!! Doin good on the vocals! JUST KEEP AT IT! Be proud you are getting better never be ashamed of your music, confidence is a huge factor. That is great stuff.

luvu peep this

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1452291
Don't tell me what can not be done

Don't tell me what can be done, either.



I love you all no matter what.
Last edited by nightwind at Jun 17, 2011,