#1
Thanks for weighing me down with the weight of your love
You didn't feel the same way I did
So now I'm writing songs about how lonely I've become.
Something so great could've crawled from the shadows,
If you just left your light on for me.
Remember when I used to throw rocks at your window?
I'd wait it out and still get no reply.
You, really had me going this time.

Why me? Why make me the king of your misery?
Why me? Why me? Who made you the queen of anything?

All of my friends tell me you're the next best thing.
So I tried to close my eyes real hard,
and make you come to me.
But only for a little while did I find the strength,
to sweep you right off of your feet.
Today I'm still sleeping on the other half of my bed.
We could've taken a bus or train,
And gotten the hell away from such an awful place.
Cry me a river and write me a song,
About how I thought I had you figured out,
But now I've got it all wrong..

Why me? Why make me the king of your misery?
Why me? Why me? Who made you the queen of anything?
#2
Quote by Jake9412
Thanks for weighing me down with the weight of your love
You didn't feel the same way I did
So now I'm writing songs about how lonely I've become.
Something so great could've crawled from the shadows,
If you just left your light on for me.
Remember when I used to throw rocks at your window?
I'd wait it out and still get no reply.
You, really had me going this time.


I'd change the second time you used "weigh" in the first line to something that means the same thing. "Weighing down with weight" doesn't sound good. It comes across as unimaginative. Not too impressed with this first stanza, but it's nothing bad. I can't figure out the reason for the comma after "you" in the last line. It's irking me haha.

Why me? Why make me the king of your misery?
Why me? Why me? Who made you the queen of anything?


Save for the repeated "why me's" I really liked this. Take out "your" in the first line, I think it'd match up better with the second line.

All of my friends tell me you're the next best thing.
So I tried to close my eyes real hard,
and make you come to me.
But only for a little while did I find the strength,
to sweep you right off of your feet.
Today I'm still sleeping on the other half of my bed.
We could've taken a bus or train,
And gotten the hell away from such an awful place.
Cry me a river and write me a song,
About how I thought I had you figured out,
But now I've got it all wrong..


Same with the first stanza, nothing bad, just nothing all that interesting either.