#1
Not as thrilled about these lyrics as I am about other songs I've written, though I am extremely bad at critiquing myself, so any input on what I could do to make this better, or if this is good as is, would be great.


Verse 1:
The moon was full and the sun had set
When I saw your eyes drifting to the left
I didn't know what to do or to say or think
So I chose the lie; I chose to believe
That despite the past, that this could ever last
But it all just happened much too fast
So it all slowed down so that I could see
Just what the future had held from me

Chorus:
But I can't just leave all your memories here
Your presence, it still lingers here
Always reminding me who I am

Verse 2:
Well the board is full and the pieces are set
But I'm still trying to catch a train that's already left
If I had known what to do or to say or think
I just might have been able to believe
That despite the past, that this could ever have lasted
Both our bodies laying in the grass
But now that tomorrow's bright enough to see
I'll move on and face reality

Chorus:
But I can't just leave all your memories here
I'll keep them with me for these next four years
Just to remind myself who I am

Bridge:
Growing old just waiting, waiting
Growing old just waiting, waiting
Growing old just waiting to be
Happy, no that won't be, wont' be me

Verse 3:
Now my mind is full of all the goals I've set
And I feel myself drifting to the west
I couldn't tell you what tomorrow brings
But whatever happens, it was meant to be
Like that night we spent together on the tracks
And even if I could, I wouldn't take it back
I only wish that you could see
That I'm not the world, this isn't everything

Chorus:
Well I can't just leave all these memories here
I'll keep them with me for these next four years
Just to remind myself who I am
"Love everything. Know nothing."

"What do you mean 'do you even know how to play bongo drums?'?! Do I not have hands?! And pot?!"
#2
hm..., I really do love the lyrics themselves, but only half of them rhyme? Is there a special rhyme scheme for this?

Also think the chorus should be longer, but I always think that.
#3
Well they all rhyme (except for "lasted"/"grass", but the way I sing it I put emphasis on "lasted" in a way that it isn't really noticeable that they don't rhyme), some of them aren't perfect, exact rhymes; too many exactly rhyming lines bothers me. Oh yeah, and except for the last line in each chorus, those don't rhyme with anything but themselves, but I did that on purpose.
Thanks for the crit! And I'll c4c if anybody wants just provide a link if possible
"Love everything. Know nothing."

"What do you mean 'do you even know how to play bongo drums?'?! Do I not have hands?! And pot?!"