#2
Intro is good, I like the bass, although I wouldn't have the bass cut out in measure 4. The Main riff is good, and fairly catchy which is a plus in this style. Verse is good, although the transition to the chorus is a bit choppy with the phrasing.

21 seems to have too many strikes of the same note.

Retiteration of the main riff is good, likewise for the verse. The interlude is also good, and I like the bass work in this section. I don't know how well it flows into the Chorus, but I don't know if I would suggest the current transition. I would do a sort of build up into it with another section.

Decent song for what it is.
#3
Quote by Life Is Brutal
Intro is good, I like the bass, although I wouldn't have the bass cut out in measure 4. The Main riff is good, and fairly catchy which is a plus in this style. Verse is good, although the transition to the chorus is a bit choppy with the phrasing.

21 seems to have too many strikes of the same note.

Retiteration of the main riff is good, likewise for the verse. The interlude is also good, and I like the bass work in this section. I don't know how well it flows into the Chorus, but I don't know if I would suggest the current transition. I would do a sort of build up into it with another section.

Decent song for what it is.


Thank you, I stayed up until 2:00 this morning writing it.
you're a stone fox
#4
Like Life is Brutal said, I wouldn't cut the bass in bar 4. But the main riff is quite catchy, and the verse rhythm is pretty cool. The trippy interlude is quite nice, but I don't really like the fourth bar of it, I think you could change that. The solo works really well as well. I'm not sure about the lack of drums in the final chorus and the levels in the mix seemed a bit off, had to do a bit of re-adjusting as I listened to it.

It's a catchy song, it's not amazing, but there wasn't really much wrong with it, write a vocal melody to it, I think that'll make it sound a lot richer.
#5
Bass bars 38-39 or so, wrong key, sounds weird (try D minor scale).
As for the guitar part during the "Trippy Interlude," I wouldn't call it trippy, but definitely catchy, You want trippy, check out BTBAM - Need for repitition (about 2 min in to the end)
I don't know if I can give a fair critique though since I detest punk but it certainly isn't bad, but its also simple (like many punk songs) Also, Is this the whole song? after the last chorus you should have a short pause, reverse symbols then a fast-paced bridge/solo and then a final verse/outro