I really like the lyrics to this. Also your voice is really unique and compliments this style well. Keep it up!
The lyrics are really nice, it tells a good story, and teaches a good lesson. I like your voice too, you kind of have your own style. Nice job man keep it up! :]
I like your lyrics, however you need to make your singing a little bit more present in the song. The lyrics a good tone, but it sounds so drowned out because you don't maintain it, which is difficult... However; I really liked it overall. Would love to see more feeling in the playing though, also throwing in a solo on an electric guitar would really pull in the listener! Especially when you are building up the rhythm, would be an excellent place to put it!

Just a thought! Rock on dude.

Also check out my latest instrumental:https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1451665

Also I would like to work lyrics into my songs.. however; I struggle with it a little ... Will have to try again soon
Last edited by JoxTraex at Jun 21, 2011,
Thanks for the positive feedback on our song. We're still new to the whole mixing process and it's especially difficult when using an electronic drumset XD but we're working on it.

We thought the best part of your song was the chorus, it definitely has a catchy ring to it and a high potential for emotional connection. However, definitely keep up the work on the singing aspect, especially with projecting your voice. It's very important and allows you much more room for emotional expression through your voice. All in all keep up the good work!