#1
Well, im not really sure where to post this. so pit it is. I have taken my first real attempt at writing poetry. and would like to have it critiqued. so i come to the geniuses of the pit. Anyway here it is.

From the very first sight, she set my soul alight. And like a star in the night my love burned bright. The world was great, all was well. 'Till the demon came and sent my soul to hell. Now she is gone, i am here, and the demon is always near. For with her the demon did stay. And now my soul burns in a diffrent way. Oh, how i long for my revenge, as my heart she did singe. But for my love for her,I would gladly strike them down,And here they would join me in the ground. Because all is not great, and all is not well. Because living in this world is the one true hell.

please be gentle. also post your poems. Favorite or self written are both encouraged.
Quote by PsiGuy60
I'll probably end up as a pipe-smoking, headbanging 55-year-old.


^^ me too bro, me too

Quote by slash_GNR666
Talk..........to.......girls?????

I thought they were only good at sucking dick and making sammiches

^^^ truth
#2
Songwriting and Lyrics. You might be able to get this moved.

Reported.

Also, as far as poetry goes, my favorite poem has and will always be The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufroc by T.S. Eliot.
Last edited by blake1221 at Jun 22, 2011,
#3
My bad. i wasnt sure, as it was poetry and not lyrics.
Quote by PsiGuy60
I'll probably end up as a pipe-smoking, headbanging 55-year-old.


^^ me too bro, me too

Quote by slash_GNR666
Talk..........to.......girls?????

I thought they were only good at sucking dick and making sammiches

^^^ truth
#4
Quote by ebayallen
My bad. i wasnt sure, as it was poetry and not lyrics.


Not a very big difference.
#5
Quote by blake1221
Not a very big difference.

Pretty much purely structural in difference.
Quote by PsiGuy60
I'll probably end up as a pipe-smoking, headbanging 55-year-old.


^^ me too bro, me too

Quote by slash_GNR666
Talk..........to.......girls?????

I thought they were only good at sucking dick and making sammiches

^^^ truth