#1
To all the weather vanes that don’t know which direction the wind blows,
And all the astronomers who don’t know from which plane the sun rose,
For all the children who didn’t know how to laugh,
And all the rubber ducks that couldn’t float in a bath.
For all the zoos without lions,
And all the babies that are cryin,
To school dances without romances,
And all the jousters without lances.
For all the soldiers who don’t know which silhouette to point their gun at,
And all the ball players without a bat,
To all the years without days
And theatres without plays,
For the liar whose forgotten his lie
And the businessman whose forgotten his tie.
For the musician without a band
And the writer without a hand
For the balloons with no air,
And the model without hair,
To all the sandwiches with no bread
And a haunted house without dread
All these things can stop and say
That even you’ll enjoy the fireworks on an average day.
ED REED BABY
#2
I honestly wish I could say I wrote this. It is beautifully simple, lacking pretense of any sort with clever 'what if's' and relatable subject matter.

I love how it starts out with a ideological/philosophical bent, but you totally shatter the reader's expectation as soon as you say "rubber ducks." Couldn't help but smile here.
To all the weather vanes that don’t know which direction the wind blows,
And all the astronomers who don’t know from which plane the sun rose,
For all the children who didn’t know how to laugh,
And all the rubber ducks that couldn’t float in a bath.

Here, I find the babies line a bit cliche...you may consider tweaking that. The "school dances" line is perfection.
For all the zoos without lions,
And all the babies that are cryin,
To school dances without romances,
And all the jousters without lances.

Here, the rhythm didn't quite work out for me. The contrast in length between the first and second lines is too much. I would suggest editing and lengthening the second one, since it's also a bit cliche. Love the last two lines.
For all the soldiers who don’t know which silhouette to point their gun at,
And all the ball players without a bat,
To all the years without days
And theatres without plays,

Brilliance.
For the liar whose forgotten his lie
And the businessman whose forgotten his tie.
For the musician without a band
And the writer without a hand

I don't really like "the model without hair." I get your point, but it reads a bit weak.
And just pure preference here, I would use "the dead" instead of "dread." Totally up to you.
For the balloons with no air,
And the model without hair,
To all the sandwiches with no bread
And a haunted house without dread
All these things can stop and say
That even you’ll enjoy the fireworks on an average day.


Great job, and I thank you for sharing! It was a pleasure to read.
#3
The first thing that I have to say about this piece is that the repetition grated with me by the end. These lines, on their own, are very well written and they generate good images. I thought that it could have been shorter, though. At the beginning, I was thinking to myself,
'Oh, this is creative and fresh, some cool ideas here!' and by the end I was just scanning. Don't get me wrong, these lines on their own are excellent, I just think that it coul've been shorter/more varied.
#4
The simplicity really does make these lyrics. There was a refreshing amount of variety in the lines which made it very enjoyable to read. I'd love to hear it sung over music with a military kind of percussion pushing it forward, great job!
#5
I found this to be so ineffectual. yes, these are all contradictions, but that doesn't necessarily give them meaning. what makes an interesting contradiction is one that is active- these are all passive. I read them and say '..so what?". so what if the writer doesn't have a hand? or the businessman doesn't have a tie? those are not mutually exclusive things. you might as well have said the doctor didn't have a stethoscope. the pictures here are only half painted and I found the piece to kind of drag on because of it. these 'list' types of poems have to be done really well to avoid the usual pitfalls, such as excess.

that being said, you have talent. keep it up, just try and shy away from formulas. the idea you had at the end was actually somewhat tasteful, but it was completely broken in by the rest of the poem beating you over the head with the same theme. what makes for interesting poetry is an idea expanding and contracting, being elaborated on. even poetry that is merely for affect (such as repeating certain words or even one word) retains a kind of rhythm that pushes the piece forward. you're good, just don't rest on these kinds of things. you can do better.

if you have time, please give Cassandra's Curse a look.