#2
Well first, this whole "Opethy" metal thing is extremely tired and dull now. There's nothing left that anyone can really do with it.

And second, length has little to do with a song being "epic". "Epic" is about content. And gets thrown around way too often. I suggest you go listen to Moonsorrow though. and Ereb Altor/Bathory/Scald/Isole...

Now that that's out of the way.

Sadly for you/this song, I sort of lost interest about 1/3 of the way through it. And it never regained my interest. The issue is it takes forever to build up and even so, all of the riffs are pretty much just 8th notes at the same tempo except for one chuggy bit.

Also like any Opeth song, this song lacks... Compositional sense. It doesnt feel like it really went anywhere. Or is going anywhere/leading to anything. It just kind of IS, and then it meanders around in it's riff salad and the song suffers for it, even if some sections or ideas are good. The song also is severely lacking in variation [goes back to the 8th note thing, partly]. IE: The chorus, aside from the pointless [really, why?] acoustic version, has no variations that I can tell. The rhythm guitar never changes. The lead never changes. The drums dont either I dont think, and the bass doesnt either [and if it does that's not a very big/noticeable one at all]. Oh, and if you're going to do an acoustic version of the chorus, make it count. Fingerpick it, change SOMETHING to make it stand out, and also make it fit better... As is, it sticks out like a sore thumb. Hell, I cant remember a clean part that doesnt have the same problem of "why?". Improved drums and more variation might help, but less monotonous riffing would as well, no doubt.

I'm having trouble giving a proper crit, really, cause it's so much Opeth worship and so many of the same problems that plague Opeth songs are present here.

I'll think some more and see if I can give a better crit. For now I'd say it needs to be stripped to the bare bones, the essential parts that make the song what it is, and arrange them with a sensible flow so they build to a climax and release of tension and such. That would make it more memorable and a better song all around. [and also, that first riff, that high pitched "eerie" lead sounds directly lifted from Opeth. Could be way better. And not as obvious.]

Crit mine though? First one in my sig [doom]?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#3
Wow you are good at critiquing ^^^
but you're also bias (against Opeth) it seems

This song isn't bad if you're hoping to please Opeth fans, I never really got into that band (I tried to several times but just couldn't)

Anyway, The song is definitely not the most exciting song ever but Im sure if you remove the riffs the really dragged and kept the essentials (as mentioned by Burning Angel) you will have a solid 4 minute or so song.

The intro was confusing, I didn't know it was in 6/4 time at first (I anticipated 4/4 time) so it sounded strange, try this... (at bottom) notice the bass plas root notes

This song lacks variation and structure but none of the riffs suck, just narrow down what to keep and what to get rid of, also try to be more modest or humble when naming or describing your work, callung this song "epic" is setting your standards too high

And add some hooks for Christ's sake
Attachments:
Opeth Intro (not mine).gp5
Last edited by JCAshworth247 at Jun 25, 2011,
#5
^ I don't see what's very confusing about the intro, I really liked that part of the song.

Now, I used to be pretty big into Opeth, but not so much lately. I understand what everyone is saying about songs of this nature, like for example, there isn't much of a change in mood until Verse 2. I agree that maybe if you trimmed it down a bit it could become a lot better. For example, that bridge section has an awful lot of repeating. But anyways, what you have is all very well written, just clean it up a bit. Nice writing man
#6
^
I thought it was going to sound like this v (the first time I heard it)
because i wasn't looking and expected 4 beats but I gues it doesn't matter that much but I listener won't be looking at the GP file so they may also anticipate 4/4 time but it really doesn't matter all that much
Attachments:
Opeth Intro (not mine)[1].gp5
#7
Quote by Burning_Angel
Well first, this whole "Opethy" metal thing is extremely tired and dull now. There's nothing left that anyone can really do with it.

And second, length has little to do with a song being "epic". "Epic" is about content. And gets thrown around way too often. I suggest you go listen to Moonsorrow though. and Ereb Altor/Bathory/Scald/Isole...

Sadly for you/this song, I sort of lost interest about 1/3 of the way through it. And it never regained my interest. The issue is it takes forever to build up and even so, all of the riffs are pretty much just 8th notes at the same tempo except for one chuggy bit.

Also like any Opeth song, this song lacks... Compositional sense. It doesnt feel like it really went anywhere. Or is going anywhere/leading to anything. It just kind of IS, and then it meanders around in it's riff salad and the song suffers for it, even if some sections or ideas are good. The song also is severely lacking in variation [goes back to the 8th note thing, partly]. IE: The chorus, aside from the pointless [really, why?] acoustic version, has no variations that I can tell. The rhythm guitar never changes. The lead never changes. The drums dont either I dont think, and the bass doesnt either [and if it does that's not a very big/noticeable one at all]. Oh, and if you're going to do an acoustic version of the chorus, make it count. Fingerpick it, change SOMETHING to make it stand out, and also make it fit better... As is, it sticks out like a sore thumb. Hell, I cant remember a clean part that doesnt have the same problem of "why?". Improved drums and more variation might help, but less monotonous riffing would as well, no doubt.

I'm having trouble giving a proper crit, really, cause it's so much Opeth worship and so many of the same problems that plague Opeth songs are present here.

I'll think some more and see if I can give a better crit. For now I'd say it needs to be stripped to the bare bones, the essential parts that make the song what it is, and arrange them with a sensible flow so they build to a climax and release of tension and such. That would make it more memorable and a better song all around. [and also, that first riff, that high pitched "eerie" lead sounds directly lifted from Opeth. Could be way better. And not as obvious.]

Crit mine though? First one in my sig [doom]?


1) The only reason I sayed 'Opethy' Is because to me, personally, it has a tinge of Opeth. It also dosen't help I've been listening to a lot of them lately and I kind of wanted to write something in the vain of their music.

2) I know epic is a very over used term but I say it in the way of that this song that I've composed is more so an adventure. It is big, has a lot of textures and sonic layers that really breath life into the track, imo. But that's probably just because I wrote it.

3) I purposefully kept this song the same throughout. I wanted to keep it the same tempo as well as the same rhythm but constantly switching it up and swapping back and fourth between parts. I didn't want a song with immense diversity, but enough to where it stays the same but constantly changes up. I can see where it can sound a little stale. Especially since Verse 2 all the way to the bridge is the same and that can be a little stagnant. However, the bridge is something I feel strongly about. I wanted a riff that would keep coming back and kind of tie the whole middle section together while still changing up parts. Hence, while you hear the bridge riff play like 3 different times.

4) As far as the acoustic section, some of the parts in that GP5 aren't exactly what the song will entail. For example, the acoustic chorus, I just tabbed in the 8th note strumming pattern just for simplicity sake so I can know what I'm going to play for when I will record it. The strumming rhythm will actually be different. Also, I stuck that harpsichord in as well to add variation. You see, like I've stated before: This is a song I wanted to keep the same theme constantly going throughout the song that goes through several variations, all of which are minor but enough to keep the song moving. There are a lot of stops, turns, ups and downs in the song of course. To me, that's what makes this song breath and gives it life. When I write riffs, I try to focus riffs around a specific main riff of the song.

5) Definitely agree about the Opeth falling into the pattern because I know exactly what you're talking about. None the less, I felt inspired and this composition just flowed out. I appreciate the crit and will greatly crit yours!
#8
Quote by JCAshworth247
Wow you are good at critiquing ^^^
but you're also bias (against Opeth) it seems

This song isn't bad if you're hoping to please Opeth fans, I never really got into that band (I tried to several times but just couldn't)

Anyway, The song is definitely not the most exciting song ever but Im sure if you remove the riffs the really dragged and kept the essentials (as mentioned by Burning Angel) you will have a solid 4 minute or so song.

The intro was confusing, I didn't know it was in 6/4 time at first (I anticipated 4/4 time) so it sounded strange, try this... (at bottom) notice the bass plas root notes

This song lacks variation and structure but none of the riffs suck, just narrow down what to keep and what to get rid of, also try to be more modest or humble when naming or describing your work, callung this song "epic" is setting your standards too high

And add some hooks for Christ's sake


I'm not trying to please Opeth fans at all. I was merely claiming a title of the closest band it sound, to me.

The song is as long as it is because I feel that every riff in it has it's place and that it all fits as a cohesive piece. But then again, that's probably because I wrote it.

as far as structure, I wanted something that wasn't of the norm. I wanted something that would have a giant middle section that would take it to different places and I like what I've achieved. I will take your words into consideration, of course. I just didn't want a Intro - verse - chorus - verse - chours - bridge - chorus outro etc.

and I wasn't putting my song on a high horse by calling it epic. I wasn't being egotistical or any of that sort, i was merely just describing how powerful of a song it is to me.

Hooks? I can see what you mean for sure. The chorus, to me is the hook. But I can see how most the song lays stagnant without any melody driving hooks to carry the listener throughout the tune.
#9
Quote by Majin Gaara
1) The only reason I sayed 'Opethy' Is because to me, personally, it has a tinge of Opeth. It also dosen't help I've been listening to a lot of them lately and I kind of wanted to write something in the vain of their music.

2) I know epic is a very over used term but I say it in the way of that this song that I've composed is more so an adventure. It is big, has a lot of textures and sonic layers that really breath life into the track, imo. But that's probably just because I wrote it.

3) I purposefully kept this song the same throughout. I wanted to keep it the same tempo as well as the same rhythm but constantly switching it up and swapping back and fourth between parts. I didn't want a song with immense diversity, but enough to where it stays the same but constantly changes up. I can see where it can sound a little stale. Especially since Verse 2 all the way to the bridge is the same and that can be a little stagnant. However, the bridge is something I feel strongly about. I wanted a riff that would keep coming back and kind of tie the whole middle section together while still changing up parts. Hence, while you hear the bridge riff play like 3 different times.

4) As far as the acoustic section, some of the parts in that GP5 aren't exactly what the song will entail. For example, the acoustic chorus, I just tabbed in the 8th note strumming pattern just for simplicity sake so I can know what I'm going to play for when I will record it. The strumming rhythm will actually be different. Also, I stuck that harpsichord in as well to add variation. You see, like I've stated before: This is a song I wanted to keep the same theme constantly going throughout the song that goes through several variations, all of which are minor but enough to keep the song moving. There are a lot of stops, turns, ups and downs in the song of course. To me, that's what makes this song breath and gives it life. When I write riffs, I try to focus riffs around a specific main riff of the song.

5) Definitely agree about the Opeth falling into the pattern because I know exactly what you're talking about. None the less, I felt inspired and this composition just flowed out. I appreciate the crit and will greatly crit yours!

With this post in mind, good sir, I will give you a better, more proper critique soon. I feel perhaps I wasnt in the right mood, or I went in with false expectations partly. However, perhaps if I relisten I might either like it more, or at least be able to improve my critique/try and help the song out. Or both!

And thanks for the quick returned comment/critique, man.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jun 27, 2011,