#1
maybe our minds are just wired the same way

whatever it is, i can feel it
in the crushing embrace, overwhelming
like winds caving in
like avalanches tumbling
like mouths sucking whatever life they can
from a hungry counterpart

and still we end so peacefully
knowing that the other is there.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
this floats on by. it grasps your attention but I don't think it climaxes. great ending, and I love the word counterpart, but its like you are holding the needle so close to my skin but stop just before puncturing. maybe this is the intended effect. but personally I feel like with the way this plays out, I need it in my veins to really feel it. this is the telling of a kind of rush- exploring nature and our own natural ways of feeling intensity; winds howling, avalanches, and finally comparing us to leeching in a way, bringing us down to earth to finally bring in the coexistence aspect, the 'counterpart'. but it stops there. however that sense of sensitive emptiness might have been your goal. although I still feel that could be achieved with maybe just one more line after the counterpart, to really push it in.

other than what might be possibly difference of opinion, this is good.
#4
i dont need to say this but wat the hell, its really good.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
#5
I can definitely see how it might be underwhelming overall with the big build up. will work on it, thanks.

as for the rest of you, thaaaank you
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#7
Got a huge sex vibe, not necessarily that it describes sex, but it puts forth that idea of a strong communion, either in discussion or in bed, where minds or beings are shared to the point of silence, when everything relaxes and slows down from all the excitement, all information ready to be processed, stored, and recalled at a later date.

I also like the long sentence I wrote for no reason.