I have a 14 year old stalker, and she wants to get in my pants! What do I do!?

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#1
A few weeks ago I was having lunch at the usual place I do, I met a young girl whom asked for my business card, I gave it to her, after which she gave me a slip of paper with a phone number. I put in my pocket and went back to work, later that day though, I recieved messages and pictures, some of which were quite expilcit.

After careful consideration I decided to not pursue this. I deleted everything, and told her not to contact me. However, this was not the end, she continued to e-mail me and began going to places were I go daily, even skipping school to do so. It was quite difficult to keep this hidden from my wife and three children. But there was eventually a lull.

But today, it resumed. She has gotten more bold, to the point where she visited me today at work, and when I was sending her out she hugged me and grabbed my genitals.

I've told her repeatedly to leave me alone, and that I'm married, etc. But it doesn't phase her.

What should I do!?
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#4
Give her your pants.
Begin again in the night, let's sway again tonight.
Your arm on my shoulder, your cheek against mine.
Where can we go, when will we find that, we know.
#5
Tap dat.
Current Gear:

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#7
Rape her.

My things:
Bowes SLx7
Washburn WG587
Washburn X40Pro
Washburn X50
Washburn HM24
Washburn WR150
Laguna LE200s
Arietta Acoustic
First Act
Valveking 112
VHT Deliverance

#8
Salad, you left out the part when you told everyone in The Anime Thread that you want to cheat on your wife to fuck this girl.

If you're going to make a thread about this the least you could do is give the whole story.
#11
You should film it and make a sequel out of it.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#13
forward them to Woffelz.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#16
Post her number on 4chan and take it from there also.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#17
Get in touch with her parents, or threaten to get in touch with her parents...14 year olds will shit their pants if they think their parents are gonna find out about something they did.

You could also threaten to sue, get a restraining order, call the police...the options are endless.
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Jun 26, 2011,
#18
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Get in touch with her parents, or threaten to get in touch with her parents...14 year olds will shit their pants if they think their parents are gonna find out about something they did.

But if I meet her parents, how will I hide my erection?
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#20
Quote by Asada Hiruka
But if I meet her parents, how will I hide my erection?


Buffalo Bill that shit.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#21
If TS is American: Recommend murder.

If TS isn't American: Recommend a'tapping dat ass.
#23
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
How old is TS if I may ask?


He's married and has kids.


[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#24
Quote by Asada Hiruka
After careful consideration I decided to not pursue this.


Wait, so you're, like, 30 and you had to think about whether or not to pursue a 14 year old?

Is this even for real?
#25
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
How old is TS if I may ask?

I have a daughter around her age.
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#26
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
Get in touch with her parents, or threaten to get in touch with her parents...14 year olds will shit their pants if they think their parents are gonna find out about something they did.

You could also threaten to sue, get a restraining order, call the police...the options are endless.



this

i mean unless you wanna go for it...but remember shes crazy and its probabaly rape

wait is she hot?
#28
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
How old is TS if I may ask?

Like 40-something. I'm not sure, he's never told us his exact age, but I imagine it's around there.
#29
Quote by sabbath1313
Wait, so you're, like, 30 and you had to think about whether or not to pursue a 14 year old?

Is this even for real?

Yeah, you're not gonna go all bible on me are you? Because they were waaay younger. . .
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#33
Quote by Dirge Humani
Further reinforcing that EVERYONE in the anime thread is a fucking pedophile.


Dirge, y u gotta be like that.


I've told you guys many times. I'm not a pedo.
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#34
Quote by supersac
this

i mean unless you wanna go for it...but remember shes crazy and its probabaly rape

wait is she hot?

She's a flat-chested cute girl in a seifuku with a rocking body, so yes.
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#35
Not sure if serious. But, if serious:
Quote by Asada Hiruka
It was quite difficult to keep this hidden from my wife and three children.

Baaaaaaad move bro. You should have told your wife straight away. Now when she finds out it is going to look super suspicious.

If not serious, then my advice is suggest a tea party.

DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!


___________________________________________________


TURN OFF YOUR MIND RELAX AND FLOAT DOWNSTREAM

Quote by Scumbag1792
My God, this must be the smartest/greatest guy ever.
Last edited by -xCaMRocKx- at Jun 26, 2011,
#38
Quote by Asada Hiruka
But if I meet her parents, how will I hide my erection?

You trollin?

Tell your wife what you're gonna do, call the girl, take her out, drop her back home and when you do look for her parents and explain everything, tell them that you're willing to call the police if this doesn't stop.
#39
Quote by Dirge Humani
Further reinforcing that EVERYONE in the anime thread is a fucking pedophile.

You know pedophiles like prepubescents right? Not post-pubescents, so I'm clear out of pedo territory if her pics are accurate.
Quote by whitenihilist
Asada is schooling Playmadness.

Quote by Victory2134
Asada confirmed for coolest guy in here.
#40
Quote by Momentosis
Dirge, y u gotta be like that.


I've told you guys many times. I'm not a pedo.

He's an ephebophile. Get your shit correct, guys.
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