#1
Dated this girl and broke up with her and now her whole family wants to punch me in the head even though we're back together. As always, comments for comments. Chords are G, Cadd9, Em7

"Modern Day Juliet"
Sunday afternoon, shes sitting in the park all by herself.
So i walk over and, shake hands and introduce myself.
Says her names Juliet, just like Shakespeare wrote about.
So hold my hand Juliet, take my hand and my heart.

Modern day Juliet, i tell her that I'll never leave.
Sing sweet songs for her, we're in love i so believe.
Listened to other folks, we were not good or so they say.
So i walked out on Juliet, but id come back for her someday.

And though we've been apart for oh so long, for oh so long,
I know I ****ed up so I wrote you this song, wrote you this song.
Come snuggle me close, I'll whisper in your ear,
Got back together after half a year.

Tybalt doesnt like me now, even though we used to be cool.
Neither does her mother now, she says my Juliets a fool.
Her friends just glare at me, bitchy looks i cant stand.
But i have my Juliet, standing here and holding my hand.

Modern day Juliet, lets go out and find a friar.
If they say im dying dear, i swear theyre all just liars.
Youve stolen my heart away, but i dont really want it back.
Take care of it Juliet, its yours for keeps so how about that?
Last edited by pielover375 at Jun 26, 2011,
#2
Wow. I like how you completely referenced the work and I could understand the situation AND references

It'd be nice if it was a little longer. But I like it :]
Good job.
PSN - Boosted928
#3
I don't think you leave enough breathing room between the second and third stanzas. Maybe adding a stanza in-between would help. First you're with her, then you leave her, and suddenly you've got her back? Some further detail would enhance your story.

The rhyming I'm a little iffy on, but since heavy rhyming is obviously your style, I'll not hinder you.

Over all, I think it's cute, really. It does have potential to come off like you're an immature jerk (not that I'm calling you one!), but the right melody will totally prevent it from any such fate.

I'm looking forward to hearing it!
Blessings