#1
WAR (Scream)
CRY (Longer Scream)

Can’t believe we are gonna win this battle?
Turn around and see you are completely wrong
Even if this is more than we can handle
We have bravery enough to win this war

Look at me pulling the trigger for the first time
So frightnening, but it’s so pleasuring
I’m not afraid to go for the kill, this is my first crime
But stand closer so you can hear the deafening metallic click that will set your destiny

(Chorus)
What happened to the days when I was in peace?
There is nothing scarier than dying like this
But hand me my weapons, my grenades I’m ready to go
I’m stuck in this warzone
But you are gonna hear my WarCry

Are you ready for it?

Will the tears turn into peace?
In the battlefield I’ll become a beast
Will the sleepless nights become hopeless days?
How can we resist?
This war has taken our lives
But I’m struggling to prove I’m right
I can’t win without my fellow men
I’m not scared of the cold and black death

Look at me shooting without a pause
So delightful, but I know I do it to survive
Fighting, killing, shooting only for our cause
So let me throw you a grenade and let it explode so you can feel what real pain is

(Chorus)

Just listen to this, your time has come
This is your only way out, can’t be undone

Shoot to kill is the only thing I can do
Hoping to live another day to see you
My hands are feeling the blood, but I can win this fight
Victory will be mine
As soon as you hear my warcry you will know
I came here to defeat
My heart is pumping so fast I can hear it within…

(Chorus)
#2
its good to a certain extent. the chorus is real good but some lines like-

"Will the tears turn into peace?
In the battlefield I’ll become a beast"

"Just listen to this, your time has come
This is your only way out, can’t be undone"

seem forcefully rhymed n also the last most line of verse 4 seems too long. plus it could use some imagery by describing the surroundings. its not bad, it just sounds a bit.. flat. there are some good parts non the less, keep on writing
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
Last edited by leafwhisperer at Jun 29, 2011,