Pretty much just sat down last night and let this song come to me. Got the whole thing written out and organized and then recorded it today. Let me know what you think.


Here are the lyrics

forever awaits drift away in breeze
perfect landing to plant another seed
branch towards rays if you want to succeed
where to go you cant tell me

is it me who has achieved
when harnessing the right energies
credit given from those who believe
piece by piece spirits conceived

sequence in mind call it a day
time aligns in a perfect way
never late to fall into place
right or wrong whose to say

is it me who has achieved
when harnessing the right energies
credit given from those who believe
piece by piece spirits conceived
This has a really good vibe to it. It sound almost Indian at some points. The music fits the lyrics great. I also like the dual vocals coming from both sides, its actually quite relaxing. I think the heavy reverb fits the track well too. You might want to add something like a drone synth or guitar to fill out the sound little. This is a very interesting song, you got creative with this. Good job on it.

HERES THE INTRO!! ok nice riffin around. OH THE NON MELODIC VOCALS SO NICE! I really like what youre doin vocally , and the lyrics! OMG THIS IS SO GOOD! YOU HAVE ADVENTURE!!!!!!!!!

I'm really happy you have made some ADVENTURE on these boards, I dont know WHAT will happen. YOU WARMTH ME WITH stero call and response vocals.

VERY good job you are being yourself I have no advice for you. MAKE MORE MUSIC DO NOT WAIT AROUND.

subbed you on the TUBERS, you could hit back

Share da luv bruv!

Don't tell me what can not be done

Don't tell me what can be done, either.

I love you all no matter what.
Thanks for the crit man.

Digging the vibe of the song, some of the vocals seem a bit pitchy, but it's nice, kinda creepy in a way haha.. the spoken word backing vocals feel a bit cheesy, but whatever floats your boat.

The weird solo section with the reverse effect is pretty cool.

Overall it's not really something I'd listen to a whole lot, but it's cool in a weird creepy way and everything is mixed pretty well, nothing really drowns anything out.
Overall it's nice, but while the effect you're going for the vocals is neat, it feels a bit tacky as done. Not sure what to do, but maybe some less extreme panning might help - also they feel a bit high in the mix sometimes, and mayhap somewhat bassy. You should also check the places where the vocals (especially the ones panned left) distort.

The fade-in guitar could use some work, personally I'd try playing this more or less only pull-offs and hammer-ons, the attack of the plectrum takes away somewhat from the impact it could have-

Would've loved to see some neat percussion to this, maybe something like a djembe?
@king turi thanks man, its funny i was thinking about how i would feel if someone else made it and i heard it and im not really sure if it was something i would listen to a lot either. it just happened to be something i felt strongly enough towards to follow through on.

@breeg i had serious considerations of putting in bass but i felt it was more important to keep everything really simple with it. i still havent ruled out doing some further experimentation with it in that direction though. i think some kind of droning would sound cool. i actually tried some in the form of backing vocals at the time but that wasnt it

@descara - the vocals are doubled and have some reverb on them. it wasnt something i intended on doing but i had fun making them sound as "huge" as they do. of course that did lead to them being kind of tacky or corny or whatever but im not too worried about that. i noticed the distortion of the vocals later on in the song which was unfortunate. my first mix everything got quiter as the song went on and then when i redid it the end got really loud post export. definitely something im looking to clear up. what do you mean about the fade in guitar though? im assuming you mean the solo part that comes in with some reverse effect. that was just improve of sliding an octave shape while letting the low e ring. its the only part of the song a used a pick for. i feel like it was necessary to use one for that part but perhaps it would have been better to include a part i could have sone with the fingers to keep consistency? if thats not what you meant, you can clarify

as for percussion, i dont have a lot of access to stuff but i thought it would be cool to just bang on my guitar some but i didnt end up trying it. i had a enough of a go at trying to keep the guitar part steady being in 9/4 to begin with
I love it. the energy that it exudes is ominous and intriguing. the climax is brief but is well built up so it works very nice. your acoustic work is very good and sounds clear. i suggest adding some sort of basic percussion instrument such as a tambourine or a small drum of some sort. maybe some rockin triangle action going on? the vocals and the guitar are already successful in creating a cool mood for the viewer so maybe just add more parts and make it longer.

it would be nice if you critiqued mine
the whole vibe of it reminds me of gregorian chants for some reason. I like the haunting factor of it, but overall it's not really my type of music. Although it's not bad.

can you comment on my thread?


"Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
That was really cool O: I really like the beginning, it sounds so eerie. I love the note that you played backwards, it really gives that creepy mysterious sound. I also like how the vocals were coming from both sides, and overall the "spacing" of all of the instruments was really good too, if you know what I mean. I can almost imagine where all of the instruments are, as if you were in my room (I'm listening to this on headphones btw). I really love the backwards notes during the solo, really unique.

Overall it was good, I don't really have many complaints, the audio quality was good, and the song itself was cool.
Guitar playing gets off time-wise sometimes, but otherwise interesting. Trippy vocals! Melody-wise the song is a bit strange, but I like most of it. The backwards guitar stuff reminds me of the Beatles. Audio quality is good (for the most part)! Very different! Please review my music at this link:

Edit: you might try recording guitar, but only cycle it once or twice (but the timing must be near perfect), then copy & paste it. But, if edit points are audible, it's going to sound not so good; edit points might be disguised with cymbals.
Last edited by aaron aardvark at Jul 1, 2011,
@zinca good to hear an opinion on the beginning because that was the only part i wasnt sure about. i actually dont know what you mean about the spacing though. do you mean the notes themselves or what? nearly the whole thing is just one guitar with nothing over it. in the solos there is one overdub track so maybe thats what you were referring to. but yes, headphones are the way to go on this to get the full feeling (as with most things i suppose)

@aaron: as for the timing, i tried the 9/4 part with a metronome but i had trouble keeping track of 9 beats and couldnt always stay in time by the end of the bar. i ended up tabbing it out in guitar pro so i could play along with it with the metronome also on. i did that for the chorus part too since i could have done it in 4/4 but the bars didnt seem to complete in a logical way unless it was 8/4. the solo was a one take free time thing just whatever i felt coming off the end of what was before it so im sure it was out of time in places or everywhere but that was kind of by design. i would greatly appreciate tips for keeping time in odd signatures because ive pulled my hair out trying to get it reasonable in the few occurrences that have popped up
Definitely ear-catching as soon as it starts. I hear some Middle-Eastern influences; I love that. Very eerie with those vocals. I really like this. Interesting lyrics. The guitars could be somewhat more tighter. Excellent creativity.

Crit for crit?
thanks, i didnt take the time to actually check since it was just improv put i do thoroughly enjoy throwing in some phrygian so im sure theres so elements of that in the solo part. my hope is that it added to the mysterious / eerie element of it.

update to previous posts, i experimented with adding a percussive element but i couldnt find anything that i thought felt right. so as of now i think ill leave that out. the distorting of vocals has been fixed.

still eager for tips on keeping time effectively in odd time sigs and perhaps in the lyrical department since there hasnt been much comment on that. thanks again to everyone who has commented so far.