#1
gotta slick the woodchipper we midnight rampage
books come hotglue melt lilies flat iron press
basket clothes twenty hours out the drier
they so wrinkled mein like fox and skin under hound eyes
we hunter

needta post up Ashley to the concrete critter
slither poles down the pant leg rod in the thigh
do not ask why

wont t t cha dance closa to previously undisclosed caldera
takechance before neural uptake mambo number
5432 one rip rattle roll gun
please son
wring coat so hard no way you can drown so bad as me
twenty years to crumble bumblebee crib
lead paint we midnight rampage
wood splinter
we hunter
#2
Yeah, that's some good shit. Want a hit? Still lit. Been reading some Burroughs? In his furrows and his cut up you might get stuck in a rut up but I dig it dig it dig it; like I dit dit dit: it's the good shit.

All that said, I didn't much like "wont t t." You have a tendency that bugs me to use slant rhyme evocation without following through on the evocation - playing with want/won't/wont is more interesting (to me) if you take it somewhere, and you certainly have the chops to do so. When you don't, I'm always vaguely disappointed.

Like, here, it felt like you were doing something more interesting: "they so wrinkled mein like fox and skin." With the mein/mine/mean/man/"mang"/men/mien thing, there's more to play with, and there isn't superfluous chatter cluttering it up.

peace
Last edited by Nilchii at Jun 28, 2011,