#1
This is my first time back in here in nearly 3 years. I figured I'd post this to see what people think of it. I'll be recording the corresponding song for this for my band's ep next weekend. Pree stoked.

I just hope the references aren't to subtle.
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Truth be told all things that you could say of me
Are strings of tones and sounds that match others perfectly
Like a patient stuck in his bed
Shouting forth profanity
Special’s a four-lettered word
And I am King Obscenity

I like to think I’m pretty quick
Diderot loves my caustic wit
This hotel’s got faults: in particular
It’s the staircases that ruin it

Christening our drinks with proverbs and antiques
Way too drunk on hubris to reply with clarity
Like a bright red apple on the head
Force exists, apparently
But I’m no Newton, instead
Ol’ Willy Tell takes aim at me

I like to think I’m pretty sharp
I’ll match wits with JJR
But I get tripped up and when I fall
It’s the staircases that play the part

I like to think I’m pretty smart
I’ve got a brain that oozes art
But I’m too ****ed up and after all
These damn staircases fall apart

I am King Obscenity
I am King Obscenity

Honestly I’m pretty thick
And when I seem to forget it
And I need to come back down to Earth
It’s the staircases that do the trick

I am King Obscenity
I am King Obscenity
I am King Obscenity
I am King Obscenity
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Left out repetitions for the most part. I can assure you that the flow works, I just have some of the stanzas broken up weirdly.
Quote by emoboy027
Is fingering an emo chick that likes yoy and that has fallen in love with you is it wrong to you to finger her during lunch outside in front of everyone at the high school? would you not care or lol even wish it was you?

Youztoobz
MIDI Magicalness!
#4
Very good, I like this work very much. There are just two grammatical error, in the last lines of the second and seventh Keep on Writing
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#5
I don't think those lines are grammatically incorrect.
Quote by emoboy027
Is fingering an emo chick that likes yoy and that has fallen in love with you is it wrong to you to finger her during lunch outside in front of everyone at the high school? would you not care or lol even wish it was you?

Youztoobz
MIDI Magicalness!
#6
You're right, I guess I just had a problem reading them, sorry. Though I would like to say again I really like the peice, I thought it was well written Keep on Writing
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I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
: