I got attacked by a cow today in a farm... not sure if I should go back

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#1
Ok so long story short I got offered a job for the summer in a farm down the country and since I hated my old job(too many douchebags) I took it. The thing is that I was only hired because of a family connection and I had lied about my experienced with farms. So anyway the guy tells me that I'm "working with the cows today". Now I have no idea what this actually means, does this means I have to get milk from their udders or just monitor their movement or what? It's a pretty vague statement, but I didn't want to ask any questions because I'm supposed to be experienced and for all I know this is a common request. So anyway not knowing what to do I got in with the cows and tried to play with them. One of them got agitated by this and attacked me. I wasn't too badly hurt and luckily nobody saw but I don't know if I'm in over my head. I could potentially get killed by this cow BUT I could also make bank from this job.

What would you do in this situation?
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#5
I almost got attacked by a cow once, but I just assured your mom I wasn't trying to rape her and she simmered down right away.
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#6
you have to earn the respect of the bull, then the cows will leave you alone.

To get the bull's respect, cup its balls, if it keeps facing you hit it on the nose like you would with a naughty dog.


after about 30 seconds of continuous ball cupping it should give the nod to the cows and the pride will accept you as one of their own.
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#7
Quote by severed-metal
Too many douchebags? It sounds like you'd fit right in.




Quote by Cb4rabid
I'd kick the cow's bike over. That'll show it.


Cows don't own bikes.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#8
Quote by Lemoninfluence
you have to earn the respect of the bull, then the cows will leave you alone.

To get the bull's respect, cup its balls, if it keeps facing you hit it on the nose like you would with a naughty dog.


after about 30 seconds of continuous ball cupping it should give the nod to the cows and the pride will accept you as one of their own.

And while doing it, you should be carrying a bottle of A1 sauce threateningly.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#9
Don't worry. You'll probably end up killing that cow anyways and turning it into steaks. Revenge is sweet.
#10
lol ask the guy what he wants you to do with the cows
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Worked for Malmsteen.
#12
Quote by Cb4rabid
No ****ing way? Wow, i've been lied to my whole life

dude, this guy can't even get the cows to leave him alone.

what the **** does he know about cows and their methods of transportation?
Rhythm in Jump. Dancing Close to You.

Quote by element4433
Yeah. people, like Lemoninfluence, are hypocrites and should have all their opinions invalidated from here on out.
#13
Quote by Eric_Fail
Cows don't own bikes.



Bullshit


Badum TISH!

....Tip your ****ing waitresses or I'll stab you.
#14
My friend works at a farm - one of the other workers got knocked over by a bull, went and fetched an iron bar and (semi-succesfuly) beat the fuck out of the bull with it.

You are not one percent the man he is, TS.
#16
Quote by Cb4rabid
No ****ing way? Wow, i've been lied to my whole life


It's not that big of a deal, but you should have been able to tell by looking at their bodies.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#17
I do volunteer work with abused horses, and it thought my finger was a treat. I thought the bastard was going to bite it off...
#18
Quote by 23dannybhoy23
My friend works at a farm - one of the other workers got knocked over by a bull, went and fetched an iron bar and (semi-succesfuly) beat the fuck out of the bull with it.

You are not one percent the man he is, TS.


That sounds like a great farm.


I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#19
Quote by Josher.K
lol ask the guy what he wants you to do with the cows


Do you think this could make me look unqualified though?
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#20
Quote by Eric_Fail
That sounds like a great farm.



Probably better than your farm.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#21
Quote by Eric_Fail
That sounds like a great farm.


Well, it's a farm were the farmers aren't afraid of the animals.

Therefore, pretty ****ing good compared to yours.
#22
Quote by Eric_Fail
Do you think this could make me look unqualified though?


Asking questions is better than lying about having experience then they learn you're imcompetant.
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How was Confucius death metal?
You've clearly never read any Confuscius.

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I can see the walls being torn down again
Only to be rebuilt in another name,
On a different day
#23
Quote by Eric_Fail
Do you think this could make me look unqualified though?

The thing is, you are.

Be honest, this isn't the kind of stuff lying about is really that beneficial. A farm is one of those places where you have a really good chance of getting seriously injured or killed if you don't know what you are doing.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#24
Quote by Eric_Fail
Do you think this could make me look unqualified though?

you are unqualified you don't even know about ovine transport
#25
The real question is are they dairy or beef cows?
I've worked on a farm before just so you know.
The future is no place to place your better days
#26
Quote by rockingamer2
The thing is, you are.

Be honest, this isn't the kind of stuff lying about is really that beneficial. A farm is one of the places where you have a really good chance of getting seriously injured or killed if you don't know what you are doing.

What's there to know? There's a moo moo here, a moo moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#27
Quote by funeralllllllll
you are unqualified you don't even know about ovine transport



That's ****ing grade school shit right there. NO EXCUSES!
#28
Well thank God it wasn't an ostrich or you'd be dead.
--------------╯╰--------------
A SIGNATURE.
--------------╮╭--------------
#30
I'll be helpful.

On account that you had to lie to get the job, have little to no clue what you are doing, and can potentially get seriously injured points to the fact that you should quit.
#31
Quote by Jack Off Jill
What's there to know? There's a moo moo here, a moo moo there. Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo.

There's a kick kick here, a kick kick there, an ostrich here, an ostrich there, ostriches that kill kill.

I tried.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#32
Quote by 23dannybhoy23
Well, it's a farm were the farmers aren't afraid of the animals.

Therefore, pretty ****ing good compared to yours.


I wasn't afraid of the cow :/

I got attacked because I played with it.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#33
Quote by flecktowned
The real question is are they dairy or beef cows?
I've worked on a farm before just so you know.


thanks, they are dairy cows.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#34
Quote by Eric_Fail
I wasn't afraid of the cow :/

I got attacked because I played with it.



Cows are srs bzness
#35
Quote by Eric_Fail
Do you think this could make me look unqualified though?


next shift you have just ask 'so what would you like me to do with the cows today?'

if the guy says that vague nonsense of 'just work with them' then make up something like 'oh those are jersey cows..im used to (insert other cow type) and i'm not too familiar with them. wanna give me a run-down?'

edit: you could figure out the cow type and look up on google when they are in heat (do cows go into heat?), what they do when they're pregnant, youtube how to milk them. research man!
Quote by edge11
yeah im not at gc dude, i dont live there.


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Last edited by Wesseem at Jul 1, 2011,
#36
Quote by Wesseem
next shift you have just ask 'so what would you like me to do with the cows today?'

if the guy says that vague nonsense of 'just work with them' then make up something like 'oh those are jersey cows..im used to (insert other cow type) and i'm not too familiar with them. wanna give me a run-down?'

edit: you could figure out the cow type and look up on google when they are in heat (do cows go into heat?), what they do when they're pregnant, youtube how to milk them. research man!


Yeah good idea I'll try that cheers.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#37
If the cows are disrespecting, just pretend they're tourists and threaten them until they pay you money...or give you milk
Quote by SeveralSpecies
That's not what your mother said.


That's right. You aint the only one working with cows.


DOUBLE MOM JOKE!


#39
Quote by Eric_Fail
thanks, they are dairy cows.


Well, a lot of this depends on what style of stalls/parlor your barn uses, but basically here are a couple things you should always be doing:

1. Make sure they go in/out of the parlor at least 2 (maybe 3) times a day to get milked.
2. Make sure they always have food in front of them.
3. Don't let the shit pile up behind them.

Those are given, your boss may want you to do more specific things like AI (artificial insemination), herd checks, fixing shit, and rotating them in and out of the barn. It's a pretty easy routine once you figure out how to do it, so don't quit.
The future is no place to place your better days
#40
Quote by flecktowned
Well, a lot of this depends on what style of stalls/parlor your barn uses, but basically here are a couple things you should always be doing:

1. Make sure they go in/out of the parlor at least 2 (maybe 3) times a day to get milked.
2. Make sure they always have food in front of them.
3. Don't let the shit pile up behind them.

Those are given, your boss may want you to do more specific things like AI (artificial insemination), herd checks, fixing shit, and rotating them in and out of the barn. It's a pretty easy routine once you figure out how to do it, so don't quit.


Yeah thanks I'm not gonna quit. I'll look up this stuff now, it doesn't seem that hard.
I'mCool

Quote by StewieSwan
Don't you have some tourists to beat up?

Quote by Zoot Allures
Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
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