#1
Okay, here's the scenario.

You're an evil mastermind and you have now decided you're kinda bored of simply kidnapping damsels and sticking your pen in people's tea so you decide to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

How would you do this? Would you have a costume? Minions? etc.

(PS, crudely done MS paint pictures are welcome as are any other visual aids)

GO!
#3
Money. Always money. You buy yourself up to the top, starting by owning a multi-billionaire corporation by the age of 19. Age of 35, the entire White House is under my rule. 45, Parliament. 55, the world.
#4
Show my dick on TV, the World would melt at my feet.
Quote by JD Close
Piano dick had some good parts, but should have said "As the business man slowly gets boned", would have accented the whole dick feeling of the album
#5
Make all Christians believe your Jesus and have them kill all other religious people and atheist.
BLANKBLANK
#8
I'd get a black man elected to the most powerful position in the world. Hilarity and ridiculousness ensue. Next, the sheeple will naturally elect Sarah Palin, who is actually a robot I made to spout ridiculousness that people enjoy. Done. I'm almost there.
#10
Quote by Arfey McFeeshy
Make all Christians believe your Jesus and have them kill all other religious people and atheist.



So instead of convincing the rest of the world that you're Jesus, you would convince a lesser amount and kill the others? Seems counter productive.
NOW PART OF THE

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At this point I'd be more surprised if you found me a Christian children's entertainer that didn't sodomize and eat kids.
#11
I'D get the fastest hairrest most nasty looking person, and have him streak through the most populated places in the world. If you can't destroy the world at least ruin the lives of half of it by blinding it. EDIT: I'm surprised no one siged me for tthat lol
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If I wanted to listen to something slow, I'd play some hippie music.
Last edited by ETHANEVIL at Jul 2, 2011,
#12
i'd start by becoming a male stipper i'd then seduce the president and use nuclear weapons to destroy the major of the world. then i'd lead my private army to counqer the post-apocalyptic world that remains. then i'd take all the women for myself
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#13
First I would spend a few years in my youth training my sword arm, making myself a better fighter. When I am a man, and with many years fighting experience under my belt, I would integrate myself into the King's personal guard. When my liege finds a rebellion at his door with no way out, I would kindly kill him myself - allowing the rebellion to take the kingdom and their leader to take the throne. I would then spend the next few years plotting until my family claims the throne through deceit and murder!
Last edited by FlashNinja at Jul 2, 2011,
#14
Quote by FlashNinja
First I would spend a few years in my youth training my sword arm, making myself a better fighter. When I am a man, and with many years fighting experience under my belt, I would integrate myself into the King's personal guard. When my liege finds a rebellion at his door with no way out, I would kindly kill him myself - allowing the rebellion to take the kingdom and their leader to take the thrown. I would then spend the next few years plotting until my family claims the throne through deceit and murder!




Just finished the fourth book.
#15
Quote by championguitar
i'd start by becoming a male stipper i'd then seduce the president and use nuclear weapons to destroy the major of the world. then i'd lead my private army to counqer the post-apocalyptic world that remains. then i'd take all the women for myself

tyats actually a good idea, I like about 95% of it.
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That's it, you're all banned.

Quote by stevebomb
If I wanted to listen to something slow, I'd play some hippie music.
#16
Quote by trueamerican


Just finished the fourth book.


I haven't so shh.
#20
First of all, I would gain a high position of power. I would then trick congress into legalizing the evil drug of marijuana. Once everyone starts killing each other and everything collapses into anarchy and socialism, I will swoop in and re-criminalize it. The next time the presidential elections arrive, I will win by a landslide. I will then slowly transform the united states into an authoritative police state. Once I have full and complete power, I will declare war on china and Russia, forcing other NATO countries to co-operate with me. After a long, bloody and drawn out total war that lasts for decades, nuclear weapons will be inevitably be launched and the world will be destroyed. However, there will still probably be many survivors left who survived the nuclear holocaust. I have planned for this. Knowing of the inevitable nuclear war, I will have build massive underground bunkers housing huge amounts of military hardware. These will be manned by a large reserve of troops who I have kept from the raging war on the Chinese and British fronts. Obviously the rest of NATO is overrun, Russia is basically in ruins, and China still has much infantry strength and land by the time the nukes are launched. Also I will recruit some of the survivors, who see this technology and the bunkers as a signs of civilization. Anyone who puts up a fight against me will be crushed with my superior weaponry. The small amount of survivors around the world will be no match for my infinitely superior weapons. Before any nation with any military capabilities can retaliate, any resistance will be destroyed before it can be organized. Once this conquest is complete, I will laugh menacingly from my spinning chair in my office in one of the bunkers.
Last edited by Lost Dog at Jul 2, 2011,
#22
Quote by Lost Dog
First of all, I would gain a high position of power. I would then trick congress into legalizing the evil drug of marijuana. Once everyone starts killing each other and everything collapses into anarchy and socialism, I will swoop in and re-criminalize it. The next time the presidential elections arrive, I will win by a landslide. I will then slowly transform the united states into an authoritative police state. Once I have full and complete power, I will declare war on china and Russia, forcing other NATO countries to co-operate with me. After a long, bloody and drawn out total war that lasts for decades, nuclear weapons will be inevitably be launched and the world will be destroyed. However, there will still probably be many survivors left who survived the nuclear holocaust. I have planned for this. Knowing of the inevitable nuclear war, I will have build massive underground bunkers housing huge amounts of military hardware. These will be manned by a large reserve of troops who I have kept from the raging war on the Chinese and British fronts. Obviously the rest of NATO is overrun, Russia is basically in ruins, and China still has much infantry strength and land by the time the nukes are launched. Also I will recruit some of the survivors, who see this technology and the bunkers as a signs of civilization. Anyone who puts up a fight against me will be crushed with my superior weaponry. The small amount of survivors around the world will be no match for my infinitely superior weapons. Before any nation with any military capabilities can retaliate, any resistance will be destroyed before it can be organized. Once this conquest is complete, I will laugh menacingly from my spinning chair in my office in one of the bunkers.


You've obviously thought about this before, but if everyones stoned chances are the only effects will be an increase in sales of beanbags, vinyl records and mood lighting.
#23
I would develop a 'vaccine' that causes a mutation in animals and leaves everyone physically and mentally incapable of living. Then I would come up with various ways to make the vaccine almost mandatory, ie. "oh no swine flu part 2!"

The only problem with my plan is those damn Asians. I would nuke them(eastern,southern and south eastern asia) because they would just cause so much hassle.
I'mCool

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Nah he's too busy feeling like a big man hitting women he knows to 'put them in their place'.
#24
Quote by weorge
You've obviously thought about this before, but if everyones stoned chances are the only effects will be an increase in sales of beanbags, vinyl records and mood lighting.


Haha yea true, I was just kind of doing a tongue in cheek mocking of people that think any drugs will turn you into a psychotic murderer.

So, for my real plan, I will use that stuff that they used in batman begins that turns people crazy, and then offer the antidote, and that is how i will gain power
#25
Quote by Lost Dog
Haha yea true, I was just kind of doing a tongue in cheek mocking of people that think any drugs will turn you into a psychotic murderer.

So, for my real plan, I will use that stuff that they used in batman begins that turns people crazy, and then offer the antidote, and that is how i will gain power


well for seeing through your false plan can I not be subjected to crazy pills? I don't think they'd mix well with me.
#26
Quote by weorge
well for seeing through your false plan can I not be subjected to crazy pills? I don't think they'd mix well with me.


Sure, you can be my second command. And if my plan works out, you can get Europe as a reward
#27

too cynical?
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#29
I already have taken over the world, and now I share it with people of all nations and the animals and plants of it to prosper.

Go forth fight your wars and have fun, it's all I ever wanted for you all...
yo.

I BELIEVE