#1
I made a run for the out house
As my insides erupt
You sit at the dinner table

Stop and think again
What's stopping you from being my friend?
Don't tell me it's politics
Or other women I know

Our thoughts are poison ivy
You might get a rash
You might not

What?
Who did you expect me to be?
Why are your god-dam* eyes on me
If you want some piece of mind
Watch me rot
Last edited by bjonesapostle at Jul 3, 2011,
#2
The story was interesting. Vague enough to get the reader to think. However some words and lines feel a bit, clumsy. For instance:
I blazed a fat one

Even if this is an expression I've never heard of, it still doesn't ring well in this song for me.

I'm inside my man cave, do not disturb

Again, this line just feels weird to me. The piece is good, but needs furnishing.
BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.