#1
Hi,

This is a song I wrote for a compilation CD. It´s about being under the enchantes of a woman and loosing one´s free will:

Verse 1:
Little miss dark walking up slowly
Turning my head forward for attention
Intoxicating, unholy
Ain’t no backing from this starry complication

Pre-chorus:
So why won’t you tell me
What’d you think ‘bout love?!
I can’t explain it, I now it makes me wild
Keep getting closer, freshed up in bloom
Reeking havoc, my own lovers perfume


Chorus:
I can’t explain it; it’s just something that we do
‘Cause every time I loose, it always starts with something new
No point in fighting, temptation filled with violence
I feel my blood a rising when I crawl inside her wound

Verse2:
Suffocating from her madness
A clear case of acute depravation
Wonder when this’d be all over
Is this Heaven or is it damnation?

Pre-chorus:
So why don’t you tell me
What’d you think ‘bout love?!
I can’t explain, I now it makes me wild
Keep getting closer, freshed up in bloom
Reeking havoc, my own lovers perfume

Chorus:

I can’t explain it; it’s just something that we do
‘Cause every time I loose, it always starts with something new
No point in fighting, temptation filled with violence
I feel my blood a rising when I crawl inside her wound

Outro:

Right Love, Right Now! (x4)

This is the link to the song
#2
I like it. I think that the first verse is a little off in the flow/rhythm. the third line is too short for the last one. Otherwise well written song. Great job!

edit: after listening to the track, I disagree w/ myself. the first verse is fine. the chorus doesn't seem to quite flow right however. I don't know how to suggest a change for you, though.

You remind me of Santana w/ your guitar style. Heavy wah, mainly single note riffs, little Spainish sound in there. Sounds good, dude!
Last edited by Dr. V at Jul 3, 2011,