#1
Tell what you like and what you didn't. I think this song is my crown jewel. Though that's my own opinion. It's mah bay-bay.

I guess it's prog but I dunno you tell me. Please listen and crit, you won't be disappointed. :P
Attachments:
Andromeda Syndrome.zip
Quote by Nelsean
The world needs more buttmonkeys.

Quote by Eddie4President
The Buttmonkey for best username, most intelligent posts of 21st century.
Quote by StewieSwan
Good. The world needs more of you.
#3
What's that supposed to mean? Hahaha!

Maybe you just aren't a fan of my work.
Quote by Nelsean
The world needs more buttmonkeys.

Quote by Eddie4President
The Buttmonkey for best username, most intelligent posts of 21st century.
Quote by StewieSwan
Good. The world needs more of you.
#4
Quote by The Buttmonkey
What's that supposed to mean? Hahaha!

Maybe you just aren't a fan of my work.


haha it's just cause you said I won't be disappointed.
I'll actually do a proper crit now.

Intro is nice, clean guitar and rhodes sound lovely together. With the strings and drums it's even better. Reminds me of Take A Bow by Muse, although maybe it's just the first arpeggio.
I thought the next bit was a bit meh, bit of a let down. Wasn't epic enough and the drums weren't great. The clean guitar providing a bit of atmosphere is quite nice.
I like when the rhodes and ringing guitar come in.
The synth solo a bit later on is good, reminds me of BTBAM a bit.
The rest of it is decent, the outro is my favourite bit though, that was awesome.
I think the drums need a bit of work, otherwise it's very good.
My songs are all located here .
Feel free to drop by and crit a song.
Leave a link and I'll return a crit



Colossus
#5
Quote by frankibo
haha it's just cause you said I won't be disappointed.
I'll actually do a proper crit now.


I thought the next bit was a bit meh, bit of a let down. Wasn't epic enough and the drums weren't great.


Show and tell how it could be better! I shall change it.
Quote by Nelsean
The world needs more buttmonkeys.

Quote by Eddie4President
The Buttmonkey for best username, most intelligent posts of 21st century.
Quote by StewieSwan
Good. The world needs more of you.
#6
The intro part was really nice, especially when you added harmonies with the rhodes piano. The addition of drums and strings was slightly jarring, even on repeat listens. And as the previous critter noted, the drums were overall a wee bit simplistic.

The section starting at bar 46 is really nice, and stands for me out as one of the song's stronger parts. Also 62 and onward is an extremely wonderful part, though the arpeggiations (is that a word?) and chord progressions strongly remind of something else. I also love the outro (man where have I heard those fading before... )

In an overall sense, I felt that I lacked something to latch on to at parts that, while they sounded good, really didn't stick. I sense that, it won't work as an instrumental, simply because it is too un-cohesive and broad, in a way. For example, practically all of the long and slow (relatively) instrumentals that I have heard have remained seated within the post-rock area, with slow, almost meditative section building layer upon layer or subtly altering something to maintain the listeners interest. If instrumentals are to be long, they mostly benefit from being slightly chaotic and a tad bit faster in nature. Take Dream Theater's instrumentals for example. They mostly have one or two hooks for the listener to latch on to (which you, granted, did have) and mostly goes nuts in between those hooks. Your composition feels like that chaos, but slow, if you know I mean. It is almost frustrating.

Don't get me wrong, some of these parts are AMAZING and you should definitely keep it up, but I think it would benefit from vocals with preferably decipherable lyrics and some sort of story, because now it feels slightly incoherent.

Hope I didn't break your spirit. Mind you, this was based on a first impression as well. If I discover something else/different later on I'll let you know.

Sincerely,
Viktor Svensson
#7
There will definately be vocals, I just didn't add them into the guitar pro. This song will be recorded later on (I've already recorded the first clean part.) For the type of vocals and melodies, look up some songs off the album Andromeda Unchained (hahaha) by Anubis Gate who this song was influenced heavily by. Maybe you'll like them :P

I'm working on making the part that starts at bar 30 more complex. and I'm overhauling the drums at some parts. But I'm a guitar player by nature, so 3 guesses why the drums are sub par in general, haha.

At any rate, vocals will definately be added on at some point.

Thanks for the crit, I like as many opinions as possible.

EDIT: btw, bar 62 was inspired by A nightmare to remember by dream theater.
Quote by Nelsean
The world needs more buttmonkeys.

Quote by Eddie4President
The Buttmonkey for best username, most intelligent posts of 21st century.
Quote by StewieSwan
Good. The world needs more of you.
Last edited by The Buttmonkey at Jul 10, 2011,
#8
Quote by The Buttmonkey
EDIT: btw, bar 62 was inspired by A nightmare to remember by dream theater.

That's the one! Now that you mention it, the similarity is creepily obvious! I actually had a harmony in Interstellar that I had unwittingly taken from "Blacken the Cursed Sun" by Lamb of God, and when I figured that out I couldn't bear to that harmony anymore :P.
#9
The Anubis Gate influence is pretty obvious, from the C standard tuning, to the subtle keys and clean guitars and lots of layers, the rhythmic choices on all parts... The atmosphere is real similar to Andromeda Unchained [the album, not necessarily the song].

That said, I do quite like this. I like the layers, and I like the development to it, and the composition of it all seems quite professional. However personal preference, I'd say there's a bit much on the soloing, especially by the keyboards. It gets pretty wank filled. And there's also not enough riffing to keep it memorable to me, so it sort of just... Exists, without going anywhere. The drums dont really build up, and they just kinda pop in and out without gaining intensity or volume... Thusly, it doesnt reach near the excellence of Anubis Gate...

If anything, that'd be the biggest thing I can say about this to fix. Give it a bit more direction. Development/building tension. By the time it does change/build up it's a bit late, I suppose. 248 or wherever thos cool chords come in, takes a bit too long to get there. I feel that that part could be build in intensity, and you could make the changes more gradual I suppose.

And the end sounds like Lord of the Rings [good, but funny none-the-less ].
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#10
Quote by Burning_Angel
The Anubis Gate influence is pretty obvious, from the C standard tuning, to the subtle keys and clean guitars and lots of layers, the rhythmic choices on all parts... The atmosphere is real similar to Andromeda Unchained [the album, not necessarily the song].

That said, I do quite like this. I like the layers, and I like the development to it, and the composition of it all seems quite professional. However personal preference, I'd say there's a bit much on the soloing, especially by the keyboards. It gets pretty wank filled. And there's also not enough riffing to keep it memorable to me, so it sort of just... Exists, without going anywhere. The drums dont really build up, and they just kinda pop in and out without gaining intensity or volume... Thusly, it doesnt reach near the excellence of Anubis Gate...

If anything, that'd be the biggest thing I can say about this to fix. Give it a bit more direction. Development/building tension. By the time it does change/build up it's a bit late, I suppose. 248 or wherever thos cool chords come in, takes a bit too long to get there. I feel that that part could be build in intensity, and you could make the changes more gradual I suppose.

And the end sounds like Lord of the Rings [good, but funny none-the-less ].


Thanks for crit. is there anything you have?

Like I've said before, I'm reworking some drums, I'm actually adding some riffs (Drob Bb heheheh) I don't really know how to change the "flow" of a song, could you give me a hand with that? Maybe point to stuff.
Quote by Nelsean
The world needs more buttmonkeys.

Quote by Eddie4President
The Buttmonkey for best username, most intelligent posts of 21st century.
Quote by StewieSwan
Good. The world needs more of you.
#11
Well, I suppose if you could shoot me a crit on the "Doom" one, first one in my sig, I'd be grateful.

And not necessarily change the flow... What I mean is build the tension and release. Pick out the sections of the song that feel more intense than others and make it build towards that. Like for me, the high pitched chords around 248 [ish?] seemed to be the most intense part. Maybe they stood out a bit, I dunno. So I'd make the song build to them a bit, I guess. Like, make the drums more "driving" [more heavy, loud crashes, whatever] and maybe subtle increases in tempo or make that section a bit longer, I dunno. That's as well as I can explain it really.

And I always try to do that type of thing with my songs, so perhaps my tune will give you an idea as to what I mean...
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"