#1
Soooo...

I just finished a new acoustic demo and I would like to have some feedback. Right now I'm uncertain if i should rerecord it with lesser mistakes, a better singing and probably real lyrics and not just words thrown together, so I ask you for your humble advice.

http://soundcloud.com/passingseptember/the-lion-eats-the-sky

C4C as always, the more you write the more I write.

Gear:
Ibanez SZ320 -> Höfner Analouge Delay -> MXR GT-OD -> Laney GH50L -> T.C.Electronics GMajor -> Line6 4x12 w/ Celestion G12T-75


My Lyrics and Poems


"with golden hair and perfect eyes,

with hollow words and empty lies."
#2
I think the lyrics are actually quite good. Some good production elements for an acoustic demo (the reverse guitar bit in the middle).

I like your melodies also, but you do need to re-record the vocals. Most of it is actually decent, but another few takes after some time to think can't hurt. The vocal dynamics were perfect, though. Good use of lows and highs and parts with more strain on the voice.