#1
This is my latest death metal piece, influenced by John Carpenter's film 'In the Mouth of Madness'.

I need some basic feedback:
1) Does it hold the listener's interest for the entire span of the composition?
2) If there is something I should change, what it would be?
3) Does the song sound original/unoriginal, why?

You can edit this tab and post your version of it if you want.

And of course, C4C!
Attachments:
In the Mouth of Madness.zip
Last edited by ironmaidendude at Jul 7, 2011,
#2
This song is good death metal there's no denying that imo, but to be honest it's pretty boring until riff 3 kicks in.

Intro 1 has a nice eery feel to it but it is repeated too many times...you could fix it by making it fade in. Intro 2 is perfect fit after intro 1 but again I feel like it's repeated too many times.

The transition to riff 1 is solid.. It is what I would've done I suppose.
But the riff 1 itself is generic death metal tremolo picking, I'm not saying that's necessary a bad thing but you could try to make it a little more diverse (?), like higher notes as well. This is just how I feel like.

Ahh.. riff 2 let me be straight: it is repeated way too many times and the harmony didn't really help the matter. There is nothing wrong with the riff itself, it actually is a really nice riff and is much more original than riff 1 imo, but the repeats make me lose interest in it. All I would do is simply cut down the amount times the riff is played

Riff 3 has to be the best part of the song. I just love the rhythm, slides, harmony and everything about it lol . It has a small break and I got to say it works really fluently. It is at least in my opinion very original indeed. If you have to change something about it you could change the drums a little. Do a modulation of some sorts and make some drum fills and that kind of stuff.

Riff 4: again really nice. The riff 3,4,3,4 combo works nicely.. Best part of the song imo

Riff 2 sounds actually a lot better after riff 3,4,3,4 combo. It changes the feel quickly to a more brutal(ish). I understand the second appearance of riff 2 and 1 is not bad and that kind of structure is used in many songs. But if you try to make the song more original you should at least change the harmonies and make a modulation. The way it is now is pretty predictable to be honest.

Riff 5a is flawless and im sorry I dont really have anything to say about it other than if you want you could add choir and/or keyboards/piano for added flavor.. :P the riff is great break without losing the eery feeling of the song.
Riff 5b + solo section has nice tremolo picking ( I like it much more here than in riff 1 ).
Im going to be frank: I'm not a great solo writer myself so I'm not really to judge but the solo is pretty unoriginal... You could make it have varying rhythm in the run sections but thats about all the advice I can give.

Ignoring the sloppy transition to outro 1 the outro is one of the best sections of this song, I dont 'need' to say anything about it other than nice job. The rhythms and everything..really outroISH for a lack of better word.. nice.

Overall I enjoyed the song but if you want you can mind my words and do some changes but it is up to you, just my 2 cents.

If you have time could you crit mine? I've been on this forum for quite a while already and I still can't link url lol! The name is Map for Omega Point.
#3
Quote by IheardUlikepie
This song is good death metal there's no denying that imo, but to be honest it's pretty boring until riff 3 kicks in.

Intro 1 has a nice eery feel to it but it is repeated too many times...you could fix it by making it fade in. Intro 2 is perfect fit after intro 1 but again I feel like it's repeated too many times.

The transition to riff 1 is solid.. It is what I would've done I suppose.
But the riff 1 itself is generic death metal tremolo picking, I'm not saying that's necessary a bad thing but you could try to make it a little more diverse (?), like higher notes as well. This is just how I feel like.

Ahh.. riff 2 let me be straight: it is repeated way too many times and the harmony didn't really help the matter. There is nothing wrong with the riff itself, it actually is a really nice riff and is much more original than riff 1 imo, but the repeats make me lose interest in it. All I would do is simply cut down the amount times the riff is played

Riff 3 has to be the best part of the song. I just love the rhythm, slides, harmony and everything about it lol . It has a small break and I got to say it works really fluently. It is at least in my opinion very original indeed. If you have to change something about it you could change the drums a little. Do a modulation of some sorts and make some drum fills and that kind of stuff.

Riff 4: again really nice. The riff 3,4,3,4 combo works nicely.. Best part of the song imo

Riff 2 sounds actually a lot better after riff 3,4,3,4 combo. It changes the feel quickly to a more brutal(ish). I understand the second appearance of riff 2 and 1 is not bad and that kind of structure is used in many songs. But if you try to make the song more original you should at least change the harmonies and make a modulation. The way it is now is pretty predictable to be honest.

Riff 5a is flawless and im sorry I dont really have anything to say about it other than if you want you could add choir and/or keyboards/piano for added flavor.. :P the riff is great break without losing the eery feeling of the song.
Riff 5b + solo section has nice tremolo picking ( I like it much more here than in riff 1 ).
Im going to be frank: I'm not a great solo writer myself so I'm not really to judge but the solo is pretty unoriginal... You could make it have varying rhythm in the run sections but thats about all the advice I can give.

Ignoring the sloppy transition to outro 1 the outro is one of the best sections of this song, I dont 'need' to say anything about it other than nice job. The rhythms and everything..really outroISH for a lack of better word.. nice.

Overall I enjoyed the song but if you want you can mind my words and do some changes but it is up to you, just my 2 cents.

If you have time could you crit mine? I've been on this forum for quite a while already and I still can't link url lol! The name is Map for Omega Point.

Thanks for detailed crit!

I thought that Riff 2 would be great for vocals so that's why it's repeated couple times during the song.
About the solo: I'm not really good solo guitarist so thats why it's so unoriginal (and it actually took me much more time to tab the solo than "compose" it ).

Great that you liked it! If you're interested check my other compositions too.