OK, so this is something I found in my notebook, something I wrote last summer.
I'm aware that it's pretty rough, but I'm not sure how I can change it without losing the anti-mainstream-ish aspect of the thoughts I presented.
I'm thinking about getting rid the whole 'old men' thing also.
I'd like to hear your opinions please
c4c ofcourse

Old men,
I guess you've seen the stars close
just like I did? I was eager to see castor and pollux finally unite, but I can't anymore
because - this is hard to explain.
Old men, do you remember when the sky was still real?
the sky used to be the limit, but now we've found things beyond, and we locked them behind steel walls of the main-bitsandbytes-stream
that we worship today.

Hear! the city calls the moon to a stop
Did you miss it? Oh, I'm sure it will be televised.
This made me realise
revolution is consumption, right out of the box
people buying, people selling war like it's drugs

television was supposed to liberate
to open up all eyes to the world
but instead
everything has been shut down
even a starry night gets no attention for the diamonds it carries
I really like this, the theme of dumbing down, technology, the modern world and the loss of innocence and the modern world really appeals to me. Or at least that's sort of how I interpreted it!
I like what you are trying to say here. And that very last line, that is something special.