#1
So I'm handing you a song that is the result of a collaboration between me and one of my friends. A few pointers:

- The clean vocal lines aren't completely done yet, and there will be growling over certain places (use your common sense to figure out where)
- Sound effects are a big part here. Over bar 39 for example and again at bar 44 we've placed the Tripod sound from the War of the Worlds (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzY099ihULs) The Broadcast part is supposed to feature overlays of a news broadcast concerning alien sightings and a video of Steven Greer at the Disclosure Project meeting. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDOOZ_IPb6Y at 0:03 & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIv1UQtlVfA&feature=related at 5:51) Synchronise these if you wish, but the latter is heavily edited to match time constraints.

- On a final note, when you get to the Pre-Outro part you would do well do turn on the metronome until the other instruments come in, because GP's overdriven guitar emphasizes the rhythm so awkwardly that the syncopated rhythm is lost in the mess.

We have inspired each other to various degrees in writing this. His main influences are bands such as Fear Factory and Sybreed, whilst mine are bands such Dream Theater, Lamb of God, Opeth and so forth.

Enjoy (hopefully), and C4C of course!

Sincerely,
Viktor Svensson.
Attachments:
Interstellar Gods.zip
#3
Intro is good, like the use of tension between the chords here. The guitar comes in with alot of dissonane, almost too much I would say. It gives me a feeling similar to the intro of "The mad data race" by Spastik Ink.

The break at 38 seems to be too long, and 40-56 is incredibly drab without vocals. 56 fixes this slightly, but something seems off with the rhythms and the tremolo picking. I have no idea what, but it just seems really off.

Riff post chorus 1 is a good break from the prior, interesting chord choice and phrasing, overall a good section. 74 and onward is also a good section. The gallop picking is more interesting this time around with the strings backing it, although it seems a bit drawn out.

116 has interesting chord choices, although the rhythm section seems to break the feel that was going. The following material is decent, but doesn't do much for me until 160, which I find to be an interesting section, although it seems to go on too long. 176 is also interesting, and while the chord choice is good, the diminished chord at 180 might be too abrupt for the resolve pay off. I liked the guitar fade in.

And while the following material is good and building, it drags on alot until 224. The solo was interesting, although "PowerShifter" sort of destroyed any tastefulness still in the solo. If you want to add intensity to the solo, I would find a less sudden way rather than "Now its going to get intense."

Also some of the phrasing is wierd sounding, and I would find some more thematic material for the "Crazy Shizzazz" Section. I would also fix the guitar harmony at 252, 2nd beat. Just sounds too outside. I would also suggest making the solo more in key overall, as you go out of it for seemingly random note choices.

I would also make use of both guitars in sections like 257. It would give a much fuller sound, and something for the other guitarist to do. I'm fighting back calling the section there a breakdown, but thats what it is, and it doesn't really do anything for the piece outside of lengthen it.

292 and onward was good, interesting themes and backing, although it went into the pre-outro too quickly, which drags on. I would suggest adding a building bar before the preoutro, and just scrap the pre-outro altogether. Seems a bit pointless and would make the ending drag IMMENSELY. Either that, or shorten the pre-outro. The outro itself is good, but it just drags on until every instrument has it's say in the way it ends.

Its not a bad piece, but it just DRAGS and DRAGS sometimes, without any real reason why. It seems far too often that you also build one instrument at a time and have the section repeat it's whole course until all the instruments are in it. If you had every instrument go in at once, or in two parts, rather than the 3-4 introductions that you have for them, it could be much more intense, much more quickly than having to wait a dozen bars for something to happen.

So yeah, thats my crit.
Last edited by Life Is Brutal at Jul 9, 2011,
#4
Could be condensed ALOT, but it's still very good. I'm only gonna mention the parts I don't like, assume I like everything else.

bar 42 and its brothers I think should only last one bar each. Vers B:B doesn't really break much new ground.

bar 92 I wish you had made longer, with a bit more direction behind it with some groovin' drums to make you bob your head but it works nicely as a transition.

I'm liking broadcast and tung brygga. I hear Opeth ALL OVER this song!

instrumental I like not so much, I feel like those blast beats should be reversed if you understand what I'm saying.

mmmm, brygga again. Me Goosta.

Atmospheric Brygga. Me gusta mucho. Even if this part is long... if you catch my drift. BBreathe the air of a dying world is amazing.

I cant say I'm a fan of this type of solo (the scale reliant solo) but the theory is sound so it's decent. Lol drum solo. Not many songs have these...

verse 2 praise the metal gods, this crap's heavy, like it sounded like it wanted to be all the way back at the first verse.

Refraim 2, good just like the first one.

I preferred the pre outro without the metronome. A bit too much dissonance in the outro, but I still like it.

PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASEEEEEE, PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE PLEASE crit my song Andromeda Syndrome it's toward the bottom of the page by now with only one crit. I have an updated version coming, so hold tight for that, but in the mean time go ahead. It's kinda like this one, but much more Norwegian sounding than Swedish.


Edited for paragraphs
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Last edited by The Buttmonkey at Jul 10, 2011,
#5
Same style as Buttmonkey here, so assume I like everything else.

It feels like 'Gitarrer' might be too long. It just kinds of drags, maybe add another instrument or some vocals to it or something? Other than the length though, it's fine.

The cymbals at bar 60 feels a bit much, but I guess it might be because of GP. It probably sounds better irl. And then again, the thing at 62 and 63 just feel a bit forced and it doesn't transition that well. I really like pre-refräng though. Feels egyptian.

The chorus is awesome too btw.

Anyway, the 'Atmosfärisk brygga' is cool and all, but again, I feel that it drags on. My tip again would be to add another instrument, or do a variation of something, or add a vocal line, an alien sighting broadcast, etc.

The first part of the solo felt more like a melody thing than a solo, not sure if you were going for that.

I also feel that the first part of pre-outro (Where there's only two guitars playing) is a tad bit long. I think half of it would do.

The outro could be too long or not. I don't know really, it gives it a nice dramatic ending to this whole piece. An ending worthy of human extinction. :P

I'm currently working on something, so I'll PM you when it's ready.
Last edited by CheesyMozarella at Jul 10, 2011,
#6
I thank you all so heartily for you crits! The critics consensus seems to be that some parts are way too long, mostly the pre-outro and the atmospheric bridge.

@Life Is Brutal: immense thanks for your extremely thorough crit! You highlighted stuff that has been nagging my brain for quite some time now, specifically the pre-outro, the powershifter solo and the atmospheric bridge. The pause at the 38th bar is not exactly a pause in that sense; right on the first beat of the 39th we placed the first tripod blast (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzY099ihULs) and we overlayed the second one when it repeats at 44. And yes, the verse is tedious without the vocals.

@The Buttmonkey: Opeth, you say? To be honest, in the first rendition of that riff I almost completely ripped the main one from "Hunters in the Sky" :P. My friend was kind of worried about that drumsolo when I had written it, but I was rather persistent about it . Why of course the pre-outro is better without the metronome, it was just to maintain that rhythm so it wouldn't mess up.

@Cheezy Mozarella; In writing the drums at bar 60 we were going for something in the same vein as the intro to "Powershifter" by Fear Factory. The pre-chorus feels egyptian? Never thought of that before. The first solo has a sort-of funny story. See, my friend is the guitar guy (the only instrument I play is the keyboard, and only slightly) so we figured that he'd write the solo because he knows his capabilities. But I was just insanely bored one day so I just went ahead wrote it, and he liked so much that we kept it . And the outro is ment to be a gargantuan ending, because now the spacecrafts has been revealed :O! I will be waiting paitently for your PM .

To be honest, I'm quite stunned that no one picked up on the fact that I half knicked the 7/4 riff from LoG's "Ruin" for the Pre-Chorus. Can't be too obvious then and I shalln't feel bad!

Thank you,
Viktor Svensson.