#1
So, well pretty much to start off I've been playing in this band for 6 months. It includes my best friend playing lead/rhythm(we switch roles) and are genre is mostly hard rock/some classic/ some metal. We are composing are first album and in these last few weeks it seems everything is going downhill. My friend is trying to change our band into classic rock and saying he made this band and it's his. I was the one who asked him to join and started this band after my old one broke up.

We really don't have a drummer because it's hard to find one where I live, and no one called for my post at Guitar Center. Our bassist lives about 45 - 1 hour away from us, and when school starts up again he can't really practice with us Wednesdays and Fridays. My friend is what I would call a band jumper for more PG names. He starts about 3 bands cause our band isn't bluesy or classic rock. Now I don't mind 1 side band or 2, but He goes off for about 3 bands making and to drum for my old band mates band who wants to "lead" them better.

That I don't really think will work because He is more of an "I'm better then you and I should be appreciated more cause I'm a self-proclaimed guitar god" kind of characters. so I don't think that my friend will want to stay with him for long. Every time I confront him about how I feel about him being in all these different bands while I'm trying to stay with this and actually get something going for us and working on the album and writing lyrics. I don't see how he can be in all those bands and still have time for our band. When I say this to him; he gives me the "Oh, these are just side bands and our band is my main one" speech, and it just unsettles me a lot.

I don't want to drop him because he is my friend and he is a very good guitar player which is hard to find where I live as well, but I think tomorrow I am going to have a serious discussion about how I feel about this in general.

I don't mean to come off whiny or jealous this thread is pretty much me venting off my feelings and just kind of what you guys think I should do, or advice from person experience so, please leave any feedback and comments.

Thanks
#2
So you have two issues here really.

1. Your friend is trying to change the sound of a band that's been together for 6 months. I have no idea how he intends to do this without changing both yours and his guitar style and influences. I wouldn't really worry about this, to the audience it really won't change the sound much at all. However if you're a cover band, I don't see why you guys are fighting. Just pick songs, play them.

2. Your other guitarist (3 guitarists...) plays for other bands. You'll just have to get over it. I'd be hard pressed to find a band of mine where at least one of the other members aren't involved in other bands. I'm in 5 personally. You say you wonder how he has the time for your band, well ignore the wondering - does he sound good? Does he know the songs? Apart from that you shouldn't care what he does outside.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#3
I think you need someone to educate him a bit. If your band's music isn't something he wants to play, he should choose himself whether he will play or then just call it quits.
Guitarists can be like that, large egos and stuff, but I don't really understand where he is coming from. He is saying that your band is his main one, yet he has 3 other bands of a genre he likes more? Hmm.. Makes me wonder really.
Also, if you're really composing stuff, compose some of the songs just by yourself and see how he will react. You might find your and your friend's voice again.
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Last edited by Sakke at Jul 13, 2011,
#4
I know how it feels to finally feel like you've got something going as far as starting a band and having fun playing together. I also know how it feels to see your best friend's ego or "artistic approach" ruin everything. I think you should just try and talk to your friend and tell him straight up that in order to be productive and serious there needs to be a certain level of commitment and there is no room for egotistical a**holes. In my experience everyone I played with just wanted to mess around and not take anything serious or they would talk crap because I am not a guitar prodigy so I just decided to jam by myself and play/write the music I enjoy. Hopefully you can get through to your friend and work things out but if not just keep playing and enjoying the music you like and eventually things will eventually work out.
#5
@ Alan, There are only 2 Guitarists(Me and him) We don't cover much only about 4 songs but we are going in the album since we have 7/10 songs already and we never really agree on what to cover since our bassist is new to bass.

@ Sakke, I have composed 3 pieces alone and the heaviest of them all he refused to even acknowledge it as an album song. The other 2 which are very classic rock (maybe one has a bit of a iron maiden sound to it) he enjoys. I notice we just have a very different song genre choice. I am a Metal Head(Pantera, Ozzy,) He is a bluesy rock(Stevie Ray Vaughn, Dick Dale, Hendrix) And I don't think our opposites are very much attracting this time.
#6
Meh, it was less extreme, but Led Zeppelin wrote bluesy songs and heavy songs. Tell him being part of a band involves playing songs that aren't your favorite. And you have to be willing to do the same. If he can't accept this, he's doomed anyway, and you shouldn't let him bring you down. Compromise is the hardest thing for new musicians like myself to get, but it's absolutely essential.
#7
If he refused to even acknowledge your heavier song, why not see what he'd want to change to make it suitable for your album? Compromise and all that?

You never know, if you work together to make your music appeal to the both of you, you might end up making songs that you like more than the original.

Back when I was in a band, if there was a song that one or more of us didn't like, we'd take a look at what exactly it was about the song that turned us off of it and address that. In doing this we'd either decide that the song's not good enough and ditch it; but more often than not we'd change it for the better and those songs would end up being our favourites.

So the main moral here is, compromise can be your best friend in songwriting/band situations - if this guy isn't open to compromise then clearly he's not for you

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#8
bassist cant get there, No drummer, dont get on with the other band mate.

Dude, you dont have a band!!!!
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#9
I know how you feel dude.

My band experiences so far have been terrible and I’ve only just started!

I was contacted via the site Join My Band (a site I DON’T recommend) by this rhythm guitarist who said he just lost his lead guitarist and was wondering if I’d take his place; I said yes. Big mistake! Firstly; he lied to get me in the band by listing the same bands I liked, however when we got to discuss what cover songs we wanted to do my suggestions were invalid. “But I thought you liked those bands?” “What? No; I’ve never liked those bands”, “Hmm; that’s not what you told me when I signed up to this…” I then discovered he was the ultimate BFMV fan boy and that BFMV was basically the only band he was interested in. However; it wasn’t all bad, I got along with the bassist in the group very well. We even jammed some Maiden together; however the rhythm guitarist did not like this and tried switching my amp off while we were jamming, to which I responded by kicking him in the shin. Good eh? Our rhythm guitarist also insisted on doing vocals despite the fact we knew he was not capable; this would later lead to his downfall though, for soon after this the bassist and me decided to start our own project and he replaced us with some other musicians. Long story short; after he had this new band set up, they had a gig lined up which just so happened to be in front of rock legend Roger Daltry, him and the band only had 1 song and when it came to playing it…he forgot all the words. This only showed me that my doubts in him being our vocalist were justified. The band split immediately after this.

But anyway; I’m no longer in a band at the moment, but I have been trying to get one but that has also proved just as hard and has led to a lot of similar situations I experienced with the first band. Plus I’m going to Uni soon; so I don’t think anything will come to fold soon. I’m hoping I’ll find some like-minded musicians at Uni.

All I can say is; keep working hard at your music and hopefully things will work out. It’s a shame we don’t live in the same country because I’d be well up for joining your band.
Last edited by guitaristtobe40 at Jul 19, 2011,
#10
Quote by guitaristtobe40
All I can say is; keep working hard at your music and hopefully things will work out. It’s a shame we don’t live in the same country because I’d be well up for joining your band.


I liked your story dude, you live and learn. In the future you'll know that if the person isn't great, don't join their band, and if you meet a musician that is good that you like, keep their number for future projects.

The good musicians are really in a community of their own, and it's not too common that they'll really gig outside that community if they can't just call one of their friends who can fill in. All you can do is pay your dues, and meet the right people until you start getting together with more professional, established musicians.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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